Contemplating Life – Episode 114 – “It’s Hard to Find Good Help”

In this episode, I continue my series by recounting my efforts to maintain my Medicare and Medicaid benefits and live in a safe, comfortable environment.

Links of Interest

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
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YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes

YouTube version

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 114 of Contemplating Life.

In this episode, I continue my series by recounting my efforts to maintain my Medicare benefits and live in a safe, comfortable environment.

When I left off last episode, we had just established a trust fund that would allow me to inherit money when my dad passed away, and it would not affect my Medicare or Medicaid benefits. All we did was execute the documents to establish a trust. We obtained an Employer Identification Number (EIN). It’s a way to identify a business or other legal entity, just as an individual is identified by their Social Security number.

We decided not to put any money into it until we had to. So, we didn’t open a bank account. The trust existed only on paper as a legal entity, with no assets.

In those days, Medicaid conducted an annual review of every recipient. You had to inform them of any increases in your income or any other changes that could affect your eligibility. I decided I should tell them about the trust. I didn’t want to be in a position where, perhaps five years in the future, Dad passed away, and we put money in the trust, and then they discovered it had “existed” for five years, and I didn’t inform them.

They canceled my Medicaid because I refused to give them a bank statement for the trust. I kept resubmitting documents, explaining in cover letters that there was no money and no bank account.

Okay, timeout. I can’t resist. Here is an opportunity to tell one of my favorite jokes that I’ve told a hundred times. In fact, I told it earlier today as I’m writing this. However, I’ve never told it in this podcast.

A guy walks into an ice cream store and orders a gallon of chocolate. The clerk says, “I’m sorry, sir. We’ve had a big run on chocolate today, and we are totally out.”

“Okay. Give me a quart of chocolate.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t clear. We don’t have any chocolate whatsoever. We have over 30 other flavors, but we are totally out of chocolate.”

“Well, then give me a pint of chocolate.”

“Sir, can you spell the van in vanilla?”

“V. A. N.”

“Okay, can you spell the straw in strawberry?”

“S. T. R. A. W.”

“Now, can you spell the fuck in chocolate?”

“Uhh, there is no fuck in chocolate.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! There is no fuckin’ chocolate!”

[Sound FX: rimshot]

And there was no fuckin’ money in the trust fund and no fuckin’ bank account. Anyway, I finally got it through their thick heads that there was no money.

Eventually, the State of Indiana quit doing detailed annual reviews of everyone. If you had been on Medicaid for a while and had passed all of their reviews, they decided they could just rubber-stamp your continuation of benefits and trust under the pain of law that if there were any significant changes, you would report them.

I don’t recall when the last detailed review of my case occurred. However, they are cracking down now, and everyone has to be reviewed and recertified. My recertification was supposed to occur last month, which was March 2026. If they don’t complete the recertification by the end of April (I’m writing this on April 8th), I will lose my benefits. But that’s getting ahead of the story.

Things went relatively smoothly for the first few years. Dad stayed in relatively good health for his age. I had a few health scares along the way that we’ll chronicle in other episodes someday. Briefly, I had a hole rupture in my intestine in 2006. I had a G-tube placed in May of 2016. I got my trach in December 2016 and my suprapubic catheter in September 2019. I also had a couple of nasty bouts of respiratory issues, as well as countless urinary infections, some of which required hospitalization.

As previously mentioned, we went through countless home health aides and home healthcare agencies over the years. I can’t begin to remember all of the details.

One agency that I had to fire was because the office personnel consistently lied to me. I’ll never forget this story.

The problem was with the woman who was in charge of scheduling. I’m tempted to use her real name because I don’t care if I expose her for the incompetent, dispassionate liar that she was. But I’ll try to be kind, and we will call her Jane.

I had a very reliable aide. Sadly, I don’t remember her name. As with any of my people, things come up. They have doctor’s appointments, their children get sick, or, for whatever reason, they might need a day off. We had also trained a backup aide, whom I really liked. Again, I don’t remember her name either. She could occasionally squeeze me in between two other clients. I knew that when she filled in, she could not be here at my usual time of 9 AM. The soonest she had ever gotten here was about 9:50.

On the day in question, Dad was having cataract surgery. I had some family friends who were going to stay with me. On a day in which I was quite nervous about my dad’s surgery, I had the added frustration that my regular gal couldn’t be there. I called the office, and Jane said she would call the backup person. Jane said that the backup would be here at 9:30. I didn’t think it could be right, but I took her at her word.

When the backup aide arrived around 10 AM, I told her what Jane said. The aide said, “Yes, I know what she told you. I was on the other line talking to her when she said that. I screamed at her, ‘ I told you the absolute soonest I could be there was 9:45, and it would probably be 10:00,’ but she didn’t care. She told you an absolute lie, and she knew better.”

By the way, Jane never answered the phone when I called her direct number. I always had to leave a voicemail and wait for her to call me back. On one occasion, I called her about a schedule change that was two weeks away. She never returned my call. That’s when I went to a different agency.

I should’ve mentioned earlier that an agency provided me with case management services. The Central Indiana Council On Aging, or CICOA, helped me with my initial Medicaid application. They would do routine in-home visits to see if I was getting the services I needed. Once a year, they would do a major review of my needs, and we would set goals for the year. Primarily, my goal was to continue living in my own home, try to stay out of the hospital, and continue enjoying social activities such as concerts, movies, and my hobbies.

They provided these case management services from 2009, when I first applied for Medicaid, until September 2025, when case management was taken over by someone else. More details on that story another time.

I had a variety of case managers with CICOA over the years. All of them were great people. They enjoyed working with me because I didn’t need much. The only time I needed help was when I had to fire an agency. In the case I just described, they asked me, “Do you want us to notify that agency that you have quit them and are going with someone else?”

“Well, normally I would say yes. Let’s have you do it for me. However, this time, I want to call them and leave a voicemail and explain in no uncertain terms exactly why I’m leaving.”

I called the office and explained in no uncertain terms that Jane had lied to me on multiple occasions. She had not returned my call for over two weeks. She was the sole reason why I was leaving their agency. I told him that if they didn’t do something about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if they continued to lose clients because of her.

Jane told me back this time. She explained that she had been on vacation, leave, or something, and didn’t get my message.

“That’s not my problem,” I explained. “You should have had someone monitoring your voicemail. The fact that you didn’t, or that they were incompetent in doing so, is further reason why I can’t do business with you anymore. But let me be clear… You, Jane, are the primary reason I’m leaving.”

I don’t recall exactly what her response was. I think she made some sort of apology, but it was more along the lines of “I’m sorry we couldn’t meet your needs.” Not, “I’m sorry I’m a lying bitch.” She said that if I ever wanted to come back to that agency, they would welcome me back.”

I said, “Not as long as you’re working there.”

I got tremendous satisfaction from telling her she was the reason I left.

I later told this story to a friend at church, Tina Grannan, who was a nurse. I was surprised to learn that Tina had previously worked at that agency. She confirmed that I wasn’t the first and probably wouldn’t be the last client they lost because of Jane. The problem was that Jane was best friends with the company’s owner and would probably never be fired.

Other times that I had to fire an agency were not as dramatic. In most cases, they simply didn’t have any employees who could meet my needs and my schedule. They would try to hire new people, but often they didn’t work out.

This story is a bit out of sequence in my timeline, but it’s a good time to tell it.

An agency sent me a petite 61-year-old woman. Typically, it takes about 15-20 minutes tops to give me a bed bath. It took her slightly over 30 minutes to bath meHim. I could tell she wasn’t going to have the strength to wrestle me into my back brace or reposition me in the wheelchair once she had lifted me with the Hoyer lift. I thanked her, sent her on her way, spent the rest of the day in bed, and told the agency to try again.

The next day, they sent a young lady who was extremely nervous. She was frightened to touch me. We tried to reassure her that we could train her how to do the job safely without hurting me.

The first task was to undress me. I wear a white undershirt, underpants, and socks overnight. I told her to pick up my leg by the calf and take off my socks.

She turned to my roommate, Barb, and asked, “Show me how to do it.” (By the way, we’ll talk about Barb and how she came to be my roommate in the next episode.)

Barb showed her. Then the aide very timidly picked up my leg and peeled off my sock. By the time she had completed that task, she was nearly in tears. She apologized and explained that she had told them she was uncomfortable doing extensive care. Previously, she had mostly done things like housekeeping or companion care, just sitting with an elderly client and keeping them company, or perhaps fixing lunch. She wasn’t going to be able to do the job. We thanked her and set her on her way.

Reluctantly, we moved to a different agency. They were highly apologetic and explained they simply couldn’t find the right person for me. It was an amicable split.

Another time, I signed up with an agency, and the owner said she would be my caregiver until she could find someone to take over my care. That proved to be much more difficult than she anticipated. In those days, I was getting help seven days a week, both in the morning and in the evening. She would get me up in the morning, and her husband, who also worked for the company, would put me to bed at night.

By the way, I had an embarrassing moment. I always try to engage my caregivers in conversation and ask about their families, spouses, children, and whatever else. They had been working for me for about two weeks before I realized they were husband and wife. They both talked about their spouses, but I didn’t make the connection.

Working seven days a week while running the business became quite the challenge for her. I enjoyed working with her, but I could see the strain. She began regularly asking for Sunday off for church activities. I agreed to stay in bed those days.

After this went on for a couple of months, she told me that she, her husband, and children were planning a trip to their home country, Nigeria, to visit family for most of December. It was about five weeks until they planned to leave. I explained to her that we had spent months trying to find someone to take over my care and had been unsuccessful. Even if we found someone before they left for their overseas trip, we had no backup. If something went wrong, they were going to be halfway around the world. I had to sign up with a different agency now, while I still had the opportunity. They completely understood.

Speaking of Nigeria, many people from that country enter the healthcare business. I’ve had at least six people from Nigeria work for me over the years. Also, I’ve had several others from Nigeria in hospitals who cared for me.

One of them stands out as quite memorable. He was a very tall, muscular young man who said I should call him Mr. Dele. He explained that I probably couldn’t pronounce his African name. He worked for me for perhaps six months in the summer and fall of 2010. The reason I can remember that date is that while he was feeding me lunch every day, we watched the FIFA World Cup from South Africa. He was very excited that it was being held in Africa for the first time.

One day, I asked him what his real name was. He said, “Bamidele Adewale.”

I said something like, “What the who da what the what?”

He laughed and said, “I told you so.”

I asked him to write it down. Once he did, I read it perfectly. See the transcript or the YouTube version to see the spelling.

He was one of many people who had to move on because he wasn’t getting enough hours. He had an opportunity for a 40-hour/week job at Larue Carter Mental Hospital. They needed big, strong men who could handle unruly patients.

A few weeks ago, Mr. Dele reached out to me because he needed help with his laptop. He wanted me to make sure it didn’t have any viruses or unnecessary programs slowing it down. He explained that he had been through some very serious health issues. He had a heart problem that required him to be put on a Left Ventricular Assist Device (LVAD). He had to carry a battery pack when he went out or stay plugged into a battery charger overnight at home. He has a preteen daughter whom he is raising. I’m not sure how he’s making ends meet. He was just happy to be alive after all of the things he had been through. And I was very happy to see him again and to know that he was okay despite his difficulties.

So let’s recap. In the last episode, I told you about Riah and Rick, who both had to quit for medical reasons. There will be more start stories of caregivers with medical issues in future episodes. I promise you, I’m not that hard on people. But they keep breaking.

At the end of the previous episode, I hinted that we would begin talking about my father’s death. I managed to avoid it for this episode, but next time we will have to address it.

So, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You’ll get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. I’m not in this for money, but every bit helps.

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters and everyone who supports me in any way. That means more to me than words can express.

Even if you can’t provide financial support, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. All of my back episodes are available, so check those out. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast. I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe, everyone.

Contemplating Life – Episode 113 – “Benefits Battles and Dueling Diagnoses”

In this episode, I am beginning a series that could possibly be the last of this podcast. It might not be. But it’s a series I need to get finished in case this is the last.

Unless I pull off a minor logistical miracle sometime in the foreseeable future, I will be leaving the house that I have lived in since I was a few weeks shy of my fourth birthday. I will be moving into a skilled nursing facility where I hope to live out my days in comfort.

This series will chronicle my battles to receive the benefits I need to live a safe and fulfilling life. It will lead up to my current situation, which has led me to conclude that it’s time to move on to a different setting. I have no idea how long this series will take. It’s a long story.

Links of Interest

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube Version

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IncMPF1lwCY

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 113 of Contemplating Life.

In this episode, I am beginning a series that could possibly be the last of this podcast. It might not be. But it’s a series I need to get finished in case this is the last.

Unless I pull off a minor logistical miracle sometime in the foreseeable future, I will be leaving the house that I have lived in since I was a few weeks shy of my fourth birthday. I will be moving into a skilled nursing facility where I hope to live out my days in comfort.

This series will chronicle my battles to receive the benefits I need to live a safe and fulfilling life. It will lead up to my current situation, which has led me to conclude that it’s time to move on to a different setting. I have no idea how long this series will take. It’s a long story.

As always, I have to tell a complicated story from the beginning. So here goes…

The solar system was formed, the Earth cooled, dinosaurs came and went, humans evolved, and I was born with a genetic neuromuscular disease called Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 2.

My parents first noticed something was wrong when I was nearly 2 years old and still not crawling or walking. They took me to a Muscular Dystrophy clinic at Riley Children’s Hospital here in Indianapolis. They didn’t know what I had. They knew it wasn’t the most common type of MD, known as Duchenne muscular dystrophy or DMD. Those kids don’t have onset until age about 6 or 7. In those days, their life expectancy was seriously short of 30 years, and I lost some friends with DMD in their teens. So, the doctors figured whatever I had, it had to be worse than DMD, and they didn’t think I would live very long. My mother rushed me through the Catholic sacraments at an age earlier than I might have otherwise participated.

I was unaware of their prognosis. However, when two of my friends with DMD died at ages 16 and 18, I began to fear for my own mortality.

I’ve often said that, over my entire adult life, I felt as though I had only about five years to live. Well, maybe 10 years in my 20s and 30s, but certainly five years after that.

As a consequence, we made absolutely no plans or provisions for what would happen to me when my parents were dead or otherwise unable to care for me.

In contrast, consider my friend Christopher Lee. He had severe cerebral palsy and was expected to live a normal lifespan. His mother, Muriel, was constantly concerned about what would happen to him when she and his father, Ralph, were no longer around. Muriel had severe Type 1 diabetes, and Ralph had a heart condition. Muriel expected to be the first to go, but sadly, Ralph passed away from a heart attack. Muriel also outlived Christopher, who only made it to his mid- or late-30s.

I always thought it was ironic that they spent all of that time worrying about what to do when Christopher outlived them. In contrast, I spent no time worrying about what would happen if I outlived my parents.

I think there is a mistaken opinion that it’s easy to receive government benefits, but they make you jump through considerable hoops.

I first encountered difficulties with government benefits when we discovered Supplemental Security Income (SSI). It is a federal benefit for low-income disabled and elderly people. Typically, these are people who are ineligible for other benefits such as Social Security Disability. Although children can receive SSI these days, I believe that when I was a young man, I became eligible at age 18. I think I might not have applied until I was 19. I don’t recall the exact timeline.

My application was denied. If you were a full-time student, you could not qualify for SSI. I was already enrolled at IUPUI, working on my degree in computer science. One of the requirements to receive the benefits was that you be evaluated to determine whether you could be employed. They would send you to the Indiana Department of Vocational Rehabilitation. We called it Voc Rehab for short. I had already been to Voc Rehab. They were paying my college tuition.

If I had applied for SSI first, let them send me to Voc Rehab, and they determined I was college material and sent me to college, I could keep my SSI benefits. Because I did it in the wrong order, I was ineligible.

My only recourse would be to drop out of school, apply for SSI, get accepted, go back to Voc Rehab, get evaluated, which would show I was college material, and then go back to college and keep the SSI benefits.

I went to a free legal clinic to get legal representation. I didn’t have any income. I was an adult. I qualified. We filed an appeal based on the idea that it was ridiculous for me to drop out of school just to get the benefits and go back here again. The appeal was denied, and I didn’t pursue it any further.

Sometime in March or April 1977, I took a job as a student programmer in the Indiana University Department of Medical Genetics. I covered that story in previous episodes. The department business manager was a guy named Randy who was a semi quadriplegic from a spinal cord injury. He filled out all of my employment paperwork.

In May of that year, I was joined by three other student programmers. One day, we compared our paychecks and noticed that they were making more than I was. Further investigation revealed that they were not having Social Security taxes withheld. Apparently, there was a loophole. If you were a student employee, you could opt out of that withholding. Randy hadn’t told me about the loophole, and I was having FICA taxes withheld. I decided not to pursue it. I thought maybe I would need those FICA taxes someday. It turns out, I was right.

After I graduated with my BS degree in computer science, I was promoted to a full-time employee at the Genetics Department.

In the spring of 1979, I developed congestive heart failure and had to quit work. I was eligible for permanent disability insurance through the University, and I received monthly benefits from them for the next five years.

I also applied for Social Security Disability. That’s when I realized I had to work under Social Security for at least 8 calendar quarters. If I had opted out of FICA withdrawals like the other student programmers, I would not have accumulated enough quarters to qualify for SSDI. I don’t know if Randy realized that, but he did me a great favor by not telling me about the loophole.

Anyway, I applied for Social Security disability. There is a two-year waiting period after the onset of your disability before you are eligible for benefits. I always sarcastically said that the reason was they wanted to wait to see if you died first.

I had a difficult time convincing Social Security that a heart condition was sufficiently severe to keep me from working a desk job as a computer programmer. Eventually, we submitted enough material to convince them I was eligible, and I began receiving monthly Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) benefits. I still receive those benefits today. I get about $1300 per month.

I also became eligible for Medicaid. I decided to stay in my father’s insurance. I was eligible as his disabled dependent. He had pretty good insurance.

When my mother began having serious health issues in her early 60s and eventually lung cancer, which took her life, we began scrambling to deal with the previously unimaginable idea that I was going to outlive both my parents.

I applied for Medicaid sometime in 2008. I don’t recall exactly when. There are a variety of programs called Medicaid Waivers available. One program is called the “Aged and Disabled Waiver.” At age 53, I don’t think I was “aged” enough, but I was certainly “disabled.”

The other was the “Developmental Disability Waiver.”

Now we had to answer the question, “Am I Developmentally Disabled?”

That’s not so easy. The definition of developmentally disabled, or DD, has changed over the years. The original definition stated that the onsets had to occur before age 22. That covered the “developmental” aspect. If it came on later, it didn’t affect your development. Then they listed 4 specific diagnoses that would qualify.

  1. Mental Retardation (yes, the R-word used to be the correct term before it was corrected by the general public use as an insult)
  2. Epilepsy
  3. Cerebral Palsy
  4. Autism
  5. Other Conditions (other than a sole diagnosis of mental illness) which are closely related to mental retardation because they result in similar impairments of general intellectual functioning or adaptive behavior, or require similar treatment.

So, my friend Christopher Lee, who had cerebral palsy, was definitely DD. My neuromuscular disease meant that I needed almost exactly the same kinds of services as he did, but my disability was not enumerated. The “other conditions” clause only applied to things similar to an intellectual disability. Things similar to or requiring similar treatment as cerebral palsy didn’t count.

Somewhere along the way, they modified the definition. You could either be grandfathered in under the old definition or use the new definition. The new version requires onset prior to age 22, is likely to persist indefinitely, and results in substantial functional limitations in at least three of the following areas of major life activities:

  1. Self-care.
  2. Understanding and use of language.
  3. Learning.
  4. Mobility.
  5. Self-direction.
  6. Capacity for independent living.
  7. Economic self-sufficiency.

Under this new, functional definition, I would be considered DD because I lacked the ability in four of those areas, specifically: self-care, mobility, capacity for independent living, and economic self-sufficiency. Regarding the economic issue, by this time, my work-from-home computer consulting business had failed, and I didn’t have sufficient stamina to work enough to support myself.

So, which waiver? A&D or DD?

The DD waiver was supposedly more likely to get me more benefits and possible placement in a group home, which would be way better than a nursing facility. On the other hand, there was a 10-year waiting list to get on the DD waiver. I seem to recall there was a rule that if you could get on DD, you couldn’t apply for A&D.

To get on the DD waiting list, they had to find out if I was DD. Part of that process was to determine if I was, pardon the terminology, mentally retarded. I had to take an IQ test to find out. The fact that I had a bachelor’s degree in computer science wasn’t evidence enough that I wasn’t retarded.

Someone came to my home and gave me a completely oral, modified IQ test. I didn’t have to read or write anything. The test was designed to carefully measure different levels of intellectual disability. It didn’t care if you were a genius or not. It was skewed to differentiate between certain cutoff points, such as IQ scores of 50, 60, or 70. There were only about 4 or 5 questions I found challenging, and I aced them all. The results said I had an IQ of 130.

A few years later, I took a legitimate written IQ test to see if I would qualify for Mensa. That requires that you store in the 98% range. I don’t recall my exact IQ. It was in the mid-120s, but it was a point or two short of qualifying for Mensa.

So, I got on the DD waiting list, and while waiting, I qualified for the Aged and Disabled Waiver.

I don’t recall the exact year when my parents and I consulted with a disability attorney. We were trying to plan for my future. We were by no means rich. However, Dad had accumulated a small savings of around $45,000. The house was paid for, as was my wheelchair van. The lawyer didn’t have any good answers for us because there weren’t any. He joked, “You need to win the lottery.” Like we didn’t think of that already. Some advice, huh?

Any calculations about how much I might need to live on when they were both gone included a variable: “How long until Chris dies?” That becomes a recurring theme in this endeavor.

The main reason to get off of my dad’s insurance and on Medicaid was so that I could get home health aides to help out my dad caring for me.

My cousin Angie is married to a wonderful woman named Shelley, who worked at a home healthcare agency. We met with Shelley to brainstorm, but again, there weren’t many good solutions. When it came time to find a home health aide agency, we went with the one that Shelley worked for. Or at least, I thought we did. That agency was actually three separate agencies owned by the same people, and Shelley worked in a different division that dealt mostly with intellectually disabled people in group homes, not the home health aide division I was dealing with. They sent me good people, but the people in the office were terrible to work with. We eventually moved to a different agency.

I began receiving care in the form of a home health aide to get me bathed, dressed, and into my wheelchair five days per week to relieve dad from some of these responsibilities. He covered weekends and evenings. This began in December 2008. We lost Mom in February 2009.

I’m terrible at remembering dates, but I can figure this one out. I remember those dates because one of my fondest memories was watching the Obama inauguration on January 20, 2009, with my mom and an African-American home health aide named Destiny. Mom and I were lifelong, very liberal Democrats with a passion for social justice. While it didn’t mean as much to either of us as it did to my aide, it meant a lot, and I’m so happy that Mom lived to see Obama inaugurated. Mom would be appalled at our current political situation.

With Mom gone, and Dad continuing to age, we again began to revisit what to do when I outlived him, which now seemed a credible possibility. We knew that if I ended up in a nursing facility, my Social Security Disability benefits would be cut to just $50 per month for minor expenses. We also had to consider what would happen if Dad needed to go to a nursing home. How would we protect his assets for my sisters and me?

There are two varieties of trust funds that can be used to protect assets from Medicaid limits. One is called a Miller Trust, also known as a Qualified Income Trust. It is used specifically to manage monthly income that exceeds Medicaid limits, enabling eligibility for nursing home care. Alternatively, a Special Needs Trust protects assets (e.g., settlements, inheritances) to maintain eligibility for needs-based benefits like SSI and Medicaid.

It seemed to us that a special needs trust was better. I don’t recall how we came to that conclusion. There was an agency called Special Needs Integrity Trust. They would manage your special needs trust for you. They would pool your assets with other clients’ and generate good returns on investment. You would have a debit card that you could use to access your funds. It did require some sort of approval for purchases.

I was a little bit leery because the majority of their clients were people with intellectual disabilities. I didn’t want them to make presumptions about my ability to manage my own affairs. I could just imagine saying to me, “Oh sweetie, have your guardian withdraw the money for you.”

It turns out it was a good thing we didn’t go with that agency. I just did a Google search looking for a link to it. Before I found the agency, I came across an article from the Indianapolis Star titled “Special Needs Integrity accused of having none.” The article, dated November 16, 2015, begins “An Indianapolis nonprofit is accused of withdrawing millions of dollars in excessive fees from trusts owned by people with disabilities, according to a lawsuit filed Monday.” I guess we dodged a bullet there.

Before we did anything, we consulted yet another disability attorney. This one I had a distant connection to. His name is Greg Fehribach. Greg has osteogenesis imperfecta, more commonly known as brittle bone disease. It results in a type of dwarfism in addition to the bone issues. He is a few years younger than I am. He attended Roberts School and was good friends with my buddy Mark Herron, who lived right around the corner from me. One day, while he was visiting Mark, the three of us played Monopoly together, although Greg doesn’t recall that.

Before I discovered computers, I often thought I would go to law school and specialize in disability law and accessibility issues. Greg has the career that I thought I would have if I were a lawyer. I actually rest a little bit easier knowing that he’s out there doing the work I might’ve done but didn’t.

There is probably not a major building constructed in Indianapolis in the past 30 years or so for which he has not served as an accessibility and ADA compliance consultant. I think the Colts and the Pacers probably have him on speed dial. When Saint Gabriel’s Church renovated our sanctuary, Greg was on the team with the architect to consult on disability issues. He met with other disabled people in the parish and me to talk about our needs.

Dad and I went to his office downtown and talked about my situation. He told us we didn’t need to use an outside agency. He or any other knowledgeable attorney could set up a special needs trust. Eventually, we did set up our own Special Needs Trust. We went with a different lawyer, and I don’t recall why we didn’t use Greg. We found one on the west side, which was easier to get to than Greg’s office downtown, so that may have been it.

The “Trust for the Benefit of Chris Young” had my dad as trustee, and upon his death, my sister Carol would have responsibility. If anything happened to her, it would fall to my other sister, Karen. We also designated the same people in that order as my designated medical representative, and Carol was given a power of attorney for both Dad and me. We would still have control over everything, but it would allow her to handle things if Dad couldn’t, and it would mean she could sign documents for me since I couldn’t.

The inability to sign documents is a problem for a lot of disabled people. I heard a story about Professor Stephen Hawking. He occupied the same position at Cambridge as Sir Isaac Newton. They have a large logbook that is signed by Sir Isaac and everyone else who has ever held that position. When Hawking signed the book, it was the last time he ever signed his name or wrote anything in his own hand again.

My last signature was much less dramatic. I signed all the trust documents, power of attorney, and medical representative documents. Well, that’s the last time I ever signed documents in ink. These days, electronic signatures are common. Sometimes you just have to type your name, and it works as an electronic signature. Other times, it lets you draw your name with the mouse. I’ve discovered that I have enough control over my mouse using a joystick to recreate a reasonable facsimile of my original signature.

Eventually, we expanded my help to seven days per week. Dad was still able to put me to bed at night, and, in a pinch, he could get me up. However, it was difficult.

Since 2008, when I first began receiving help from home health aides, through that piece my father’s death in February 2019, and up until today, I cannot begin to count the number of different home health agencies and caregivers that have come and gone. Most only last about six months. The main reason they leave is that they cannot make ends meet on a part-time salary. I only need a couple of hours in the morning. Unless the agency can find them another client whose hours don’t interfere with my needs, they can’t get by on just working for me.

Except for a small handful, I don’t remember the names of many of the people who worked here, but there are exceptions. One of my favorite aides of all time was a wonderful woman named Riah. She worked with me for about three years. We grew very close. She had to quit when she developed severe back problems.

Another was my friend Rick Ruiz, who worked here for three years, but also developed health issues and had to quit. The last time I saw him was at my dad’s funeral. Rick died of cancer shortly thereafter.

I will talk about other caregivers who are very special to me in later episodes.

Because some of these people have come and gone so quickly, I’m sad to report that I don’t remember the names of all of them or all of the agencies I’ve used. Sometimes, the agencies are just too difficult to work with. Other times, they simply don’t have enough staff to cover my needs, and I have to look elsewhere. So, it’s been a real struggle for years to keep people here. I’ve been blessed with a lot of good ones, but I can’t keep him here forever.

I’m fortunate to have very good people working for me right now. We found a way to bypass the middleman and do what is called “self-directed care.” I don’t have to deal with the intermediate agencies. We’ll talk about all of that in a future episode.

In our next episode, I will talk more about the struggles I’ve had maintaining Medicaid eligibility and the immense challenges I began to face when my father’s health deteriorated from cancer.

So, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You will get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. Although I have some financial struggles, I’m not really in this for money. Still, every little bit helps.

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters. Your support means more to me than words can express.

Even if you cannot provide financial support, please, please, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. I just want more people to hear my stories.

All of my back episodes are available, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re new to this podcast. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast. Let me know what you thought of these films.

I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.

Contemplating Life – Episode 112 – “Oscar 2025: What Dreams May Come.”

In this episode, we review the last four films in this year’s survey of the Oscar-nominated Best Pictures. We will recap all of the winners versus my picks.

Links of Interest

Movie awards for 2025 releases

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube Version

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 112 of Contemplating Life – Oscar Edition.

In our final Oscar episode, we cover the remaining four films nominated for Best Picture, and we will recap all of the winners. Three of these four films were my favorite three of the season. The fourth one, while not one of my top picks, was the top choice of many reviewers whom I respect. Let’s begin with that one.

“Train Dreams” is the fictional life story of Robert Grainier, played by Joel Edgerton. The film opens in the early 1900s, with Robert arriving in Idaho by train as a young orphan. It’s unclear how or why he was sent there. He dropped out of school and wandered around until he found work as a lumberjack. His life begins to take purpose when he meets a young woman, Gladys Olding, played by Felicity Jones. They marry, build a log cabin along the Moyie River, and have a daughter, Kate.

Robert must travel throughout the summer months to find work logging, leaving his wife and infant child to fend for themselves. He’s able to earn enough money to support them year-round but is only home for a few months each year.

While working on a construction project, building a wooden railroad trestle, he witnesses a group of white men grab a Chinese worker and throw him off the bridge to his death. Throughout the rest of the film, Robert is haunted by nightmares of the incident and imagines himself being hit by a train. Presumably, these nightmares are the source of the film’s title.

Because it is difficult for Robert to be away so much of the year, they plan for him to work one more season. They plan to use that income to build a sawmill and begin farming, so the family can stay together year-round. A tragedy ruins those plans.

The remainder of the film depicts Robert trying to recover from the tragedy. It continues to tell his life story until his death from old age in the 1960s.

The film gives a brutal and poignant portrait of life in the logging camps.

The story moves slowly, but it is more about character and atmosphere than plot. The cinematography is spectacular, especially the beautifully lit scenes of the men sitting around campfires at night. We encounter several memorable supporting characters along the way.

There are excellent performances throughout. Edgington received Golden Globe and Critics’ Choice nominations for his performance.

In addition to its Best Picture nomination, it was also nominated for Cinematography, Musical Score, and Adapted Screenplay by director Clint Bentley and Greg Kwedar based on the novella by Denis Johnson. IMDb lists 175 nominations and 32 wins.

I could not find budget or box office numbers for this Netflix film. It is still available for streaming on that platform.

The film is slow-paced but only runs one hour and 42 minutes. There are quality performances and beautiful cinematography. It is quality filmmaking, and although I didn’t feel it was a waste of my time, it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea. I cannot recommend it, but don’t let that stop you if it sounds interesting.

Next, we have a pair of films about highly competitive sports figures who are driven to be the best in their field.

Let’s begin with Marty Supreme starring Timothée Chalamet as Marty Mauser. He is a hustler and professional table tennis player. The story, set in the 1950s, is inspired by real-life table tennis champion Marty Reisman.

Marty is an egotistical, flamboyant character who believes he is the best in the world. Nothing will stop him from proving it.

He works part-time at his uncle’s shoe store. In an opening scene, a young woman complains that she left her shoes in the store after purchasing new ones. He invites her to the back room to look for them. They obviously know one another as they have passionate sex in the back room. We later learn that she is Rachel Mitzer, a neighbor who is married to an abusive husband. She gets pregnant from the encounter.

Marty persuades a friend, Dion, and Dion’s businessman father to create a line of specialty ping-pong balls branded “Marty Supreme.”

Marty is attempting to raise enough money to travel to England for the British Open championship. When his uncle won’t pay him money he is owed, he raids the company vault for $700 to fund his trip to England.

Using nothing but his wits as collateral, he transfers from the modest accommodations for the tournament players into the Ritz Hotel. He lives a high life while competing in the tournament. At the hotel, he meets and seduces a retired American actress, Kay Stone, played by Gwyneth Paltrow. He also befriends her wealthy husband, Milton Rockwell. Rockwell is played by real-life businessman Kevin O’Leary, known for his appearances on the reality investment TV show Shark Tank.

Marty easily advances through the early rounds of the tournament, defeating last year’s champion, Bela Kletzki. He then faces a new, unknown opponent. A deaf Japanese player, Koto Endo. He has an unusual paddle and a unique way of holding it. Marty loses the championship match against Endo and makes a fool of himself when he has an emotional meltdown. He later learns he has been suspended by the sanctioning authority for his unsportsmanlike conduct.

Marty and his friend Kletzki then tour Europe performing in halftime shows for the Harlem Globetrotters.

Rockwell then offers to sponsor Marty in a rematch against his Japanese nemesis, Endo, at the world championships in Japan. However, Rockwell insists Marty must play an exhibition match before the tournament and throw the game to let Endo win. Marty refuses to take a dive.

When he returns to New York, his uncle attempts to have him arrested for stealing money from the safe. He flees the police and connects with Rachel, who reveals to him that she is pregnant with his child. She shows up with a black eye, she says, which came from her abusive husband.

Throughout the rest of the film, they engage in a variety of harebrained schemes to try to raise enough money to get him to Japan.

I really enjoyed the film and Chalamet’s performance as this hard-luck character who is a victim of his own ambition. Odessa A’zion also creates a memorable character as Rachel. I thought the film’s ending was a bit forced, but overall I think it deserves its Best Picture nomination. Its eight other Oscar nominations included Best Actor for Chalamet, Director, Cinematography, Editing, Casting, Original Screenplay, Production Design, and Costume Design.

It was also nominated for 10 BAFTAs, 7 Critics’ Choice Awards, including Best Actor for Chalamet, who also earned the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical. IMDb lists 187 nominations and 44 wins. With an estimated budget of $65 million, it earned $96 million in North America and just under $180 million worldwide. It is currently available for rental or purchase on Amazon and will be available on HBO Max in late April.

Our next Best Picture nomination is also about a highly driven competitor. We are talking about “F1” starring Brad Pitt as a race driver, Sonny Hayes. For the past 30 years, he has been wandering from team to team, competing in a variety of racing series after a horrific crash at the Spanish Grand Prix.

He is approached by his friend and former F1 teammate, Rubén Cervantes, played by Javier Bardem. He is the owner of a struggling F1 team called APXGP. He recruits Sonny to join the team to try to get them at least one podium finish. He’s also tasked with mentoring the other young driver on the team, a hotshot promising rookie named Joshua Pearce, played by Damson Idris.

I have to admit I’m highly biased about raising movies. In episodes 65-69 of this podcast, I chronicled my history as a race fan, including my fandom of racing movies such as the 1967 classic “Winning” starring Paul Newman. This film could properly be called an updated version of that film, or at least is a significant homage. Brad Pitt has the same star quality and sex appeal that Newman had in his day.

As is also typical of this genre, the drivers routinely violate rules that would get them banned from the sport in the real world. But we don’t care. We want a hotshot rogue competitor who will do anything to win.

The real star of the film is the visuals. The filmmakers collaborated with Sony to create specialized onboard digital cameras that can pivot 180°, giving us unprecedented realism. Brad Pitt and the other actors were actually driving race cars at speeds exceeding 180 mph. They used Formula 2 cars that had been modified to look like Formula 1 cars. There were also extensive CGI digital effects used to reskin the cars with different paint schemes.

The production company followed the F1 circuit, with extensive cooperation from series promoters as well as other race teams. F1 driver Lewis Hamilton served as an executive producer and consultant to make the film as realistic as possible.

The story isn’t anything you haven’t seen before. However, it does have an engaging plot and well-drawn, though somewhat clichéd, characters.

For a race fan like me, it reaches a level of satisfaction just short of Avatar. I think it will appeal to general audiences, the kind of which want to see a feel-good story about an underdog who succeeds. Think of it as “Rocky” on wheels at 180 mph.

I highly recommend it. If it ever comes back to the big screen, see it on the biggest screen you can find.

It was nominated for Best Picture, Visual Effects, and Editing. It won for Best Sound. IMDb lists 139 nominations and 31 wins.

It has an estimated budget of $200 million, with $30 million reportedly going to Brad Pitt for his biggest payday ever, earning nearly $190 million in the US and Canada and $630 million worldwide. It is currently available for streaming on Apple TV.

Finally, we come to my pick for Best Picture (Spoiler: the Academy didn’t agree with me.) Hamnet is a fictionalized account of William Shakespeare, his wife, Anne Hathaway, and their son, Hamnet. The story follows the basic facts of their lives but is not intended to be a historically accurate biography. Jesse Buckley earned a much-deserved Best Lead Actress Oscar for her portrayal of Mrs. Shakespeare, who in the film is called Agnes. This is very much her story. By the way, an opening graphic explains that the names Hamlet and Hamnet are used interchangeably.

I don’t believe it’s a spoiler to tell you that their son Hamnet dies of the bubonic plague at age 11. Much of the publicity for the film reveals this fact.

The story begins when Will and Agnes meet. He is immediately smitten with her, and when she gets pregnant, they are quickly married. She gives birth to a daughter, Suzanne. Agnes reports that early in her life, she had had a vision that she would die with her two children beside her. When she gets pregnant again, she is disturbed to discover she has twins. The first is Hamnet, followed by his twin sister Judith, who was initially believed to be stillborn but suddenly begins to breathe when placed in her mother’s arms.

Having three children breaks her prophecy about herself. With Judith always the weaker of the twins, Agnes presumes Judith is more likely to be lost to the plague. The family does not follow Will to London as he pursues his career as a playwright for fear that the children will contract the fatal disease.

As mentioned earlier, Hamnet succumbs to the plague. The remainder of the film is the fallout of this tragedy. Agnes and Will have vastly different ways of processing the loss. The family eventually moved to Stratford-upon-Avon, where Will built the Globe Theater. Even with the family living in the same city now, Will spends most of his time in a tiny apartment in the attic of the theater while his wife and children occupy the largest home in Stratford.

In the climax of the movie, Agnes attends the premiere of Hamlet in one of the most dramatic sequences I’ve seen in the film, perhaps ever.

It helps if you are familiar with the rough outline of Hamlet’s story, but it might not be essential to seeing the film.

Buckley very much deserves her win as Best Actress. She was my pick from the start. She also won a BAFTA, Critics’ Choice, Golden Globe, and SAG Actor Awards.

I might have given Paul Mescal a supporting actor nomination for his portrayal of Will instead of Delroy Lindo in “Sinners” or Benicio Del Toro in “One Battle After Another.” He received nominations for BAFTA, Critics’ Choice, and Golden Globe awards for the role. Emily Watson is memorable as Will’s mother, Mary. The children also turned in quality performances.

In addition to Jessie Buckley’s Best Lead Actress Oscar win, the film was nominated for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Casting, Best Musical Score, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Production Design, and Best Costume Design.

It received 8 BAFTA nominations and won Best British Film. It earned 8 Critics’ Choice nominations and 6 Golden Globe nominations with a win for Best Drama.

IMDb reports 302 nominations and 96 wins. With an estimated budget of $30 million, it earned $24 million in North America and $102 million worldwide. It is available for streaming on Peacock TV and for rental or purchase on other digital platforms.

So, let’s recap, and I’ll give you my picks, and then I will tell you who actually won.

Starting with Supporting Actress, my choice was Amy Madigan as the evil aunt in “Weapons”, and the Academy agrees with me.

For Supporting Actor, I liked Sean Penn in “One Battle After Another”, and the Academy agrees.

For Lead Actress, we also agreed Jessie Buckley was a clear winner.

My choice for Lead Actor was Ethan Hawke in “Blue Moon.” The Academy picked Michael B. Jordan in “Sinners.” That was okay. Actually, I was fine with any of the nominees except for Wagner Moura in “The Secret Agent.”

In the director’s chair, my choice was Chloé Zhao for Hamnet. If I had to bet, I might have picked Ryan Coogler for “Sinners,” but the Academy liked Paul Thomas Anderson for “One Battle After Another.”

For Original Screenplay, I loved “Blue Moon,” but the Academy picked “Sinners.” For Adapted Screenplay, 3 I liked “Hamnet,” but the Academy picked “One Battle After Another.”

“Sentimental Value” won Best Foreign Film. The only other nominated film I saw was “The Secret Agent,” and I definitely liked “Sentimental Value” much better.

I did not see any of the Animated Features. The highly popular “KPop Demon Hunters” took home the statue as well as one for Best Original Song.

In a surprise move, there was a tie for Best Action Short Subject. The presenter announced it was a tie. He then announced the first winner, and they came up to accept the award. Then he announced the second winner, and they were present with their statue. Of course, no one ever heard of either film.

“Sinners” received the Best Score for which I had no opinion.

“F1” earned Best Sound, and I have no complaints. I was very disappointed that “F1” was not nominated for Cinematography. “Sinners” took the prize, and that’s okay.

I don’t care much about Production Design, but I suppose “Frankenstein” deserved its win. It also took home the statue for Costume Design, Makeup, and Hairstyling. Again, no opinion.

Normally, I would be extremely happy that “Avatar: Fire and Ash” was honored for Visual Effects. However, for me, the Avatar franchise is in a category all its own. For more traditional visual-effects movies, I was highly impressed by “F1” and the Netflix film “The Lost Bus,” both of which I highly recommend.

So, that wraps up our third annual look at list-renominated films.

So, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You will get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. Although I have some financial struggles, I’m not really in this for money. Still, every little bit helps.

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters. Your support means more to me than words can express.

Even if you cannot provide financial support, please, please, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. I just want more people to hear my stories.

All of my back episodes are available, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re new to this podcast. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast. Let me know what you thought of these films.

I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.

Contemplating Life – Episode 111 – “Oscar 2025: What the Hell Was That?”

In this episode, we continue our look at Oscar-nominated films. In this episode, I explore four films so bizarre that they left me asking, “What the hell was that?” Apologies for some poor-quality audio and other technical glitches in this podcast.

Links of Interest

Movie awards for 2025 releases

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube Version

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 111 of Contemplating Life – Oscar Edition.

In this episode, we continue our look at Oscar-nominated films. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get this out before the awards were presented on March 15.

In 1979, Steve Martin and Bill Murray performed a sketch on Saturday Night Live that has since become a classic. They stared off into the distance beyond the camera, pointed, and repeatedly asked, “What the hell is that?” Here’s a clip.

[Clip from Season 15, episode 1, October 13, 1997]

I don’t want to include the entire sketch to avoid a copyright violation, but I have provided a YouTube link. I highly recommend you watch it.

The reason I mention it is that it very nearly expresses what I felt after watching the four nominated films we will cover in this episode.

Let’s start with the worst. “The Secret Agent” has been nominated for Best Picture, Best Foreign Film, Best Casting, and Best Lead Actor, with Wagner Moura portraying the film’s protagonist, Armando.

It is set in Brazil in 1977 during a period of military dictatorship that lasted from 1964 until 1985. The film is entirely in Brazilian Portuguese with English subtitles.

It was nearly an hour into the film before I had any inkling of what it was really about. Initially, it’s just a guy driving through Brazil, eventually taking a room from the landlady, who is part of an underground resistance movement that provides shelter. They describe it as a private witness protection program for people who have somehow come under fire from the brutal government.

Armando is a widower whose young son is being raised by his late wife’s parents. He reunites with his son and, with the help of the underground, is attempting to take the boy and leave the country to escape persecution. In a series of flashbacks, we learn that he was a professor who held a patent on an advanced lithium battery. When he refuses to negotiate a license with a powerful oligarch, he becomes a target of the government.

I was never sure if the bad guys killed his wife or if she died of some illness. He told his son she died of an illness, but I got the feeling that was just the story.

Suddenly, in the middle of the film, we see an iPhone. This scene was a flash-forward showing a college girl researching Armando’s story as she transcribes audio cassette testimony he gave to members of the underground.

The film is peppered with extraneous subplots that I presume were included to give you a feel for what life was like in Brazil in the 70s. To demonstrate how ridiculous these subplots are, there is a story about a group of marine biologists at the University who are doing an autopsy on a large shark. They find a severed human leg inside. The story blows up in the newspapers and spawns a ridiculous urban legend about a big, hairy leg that goes around kicking people.

In other words, “What the hell is that?”

This slow-moving bazaar story eventually builds to a climax as hired killers close in on Armando. The result is a highly unsatisfying ending, with an epilogue that returns to the college researcher and at least wraps up her storyline satisfactorily.

By the way, Google searches provided a variety of explanations of why the film is titled “The Secret Agent” when our protagonist is not involved in espionage. None of these explanations was satisfactory for me. It’s something symbolic, but I didn’t get it.

In addition to the Oscar nominations, it won the Golden Globe for Best Foreign Film and Best Actor in a Drama. IMDb lists 159 nominations and 85 wins.

IMDb shows an estimated budget of 27 million Brazilian Real, or about $5 million US. Its worldwide gross is listed as $16.4 million.

Its runtime of two hours, 41 minutes only adds to the reasons this one is not worth your time. However, if you are curious and want to try to figure out what the critics saw in it that I did not, it is available for streaming on Hulu.

Next, we explore another film about an underground movement of revolutionaries. Paul Thomas Anderson directs and writes the dark comedy action film “One Battle After Another.” It stars Leonardo DiCaprio, who plays Pat Calhoun, who goes by the nickname “Rocketman.” He is the bomb maker for an American far-left revolutionary group called French 75. The film is sort of an alternate history or takes place in the near future. It’s not quite the world we live in, but it’s close.

Teyana Taylor plays his lover, a black woman named Perfidia Beverly Hills. Together, they raid immigrant detention camps, freeing prisoners. While liberating one such camp, she sexually humiliates the camp’s commanding officer, Colonel Stephen J. Lockjaw, brilliantly played by Sean Penn. Later, he catches her attempting to plant bombs in a building. He agrees to let her go if she will agree to have sex with him.

She becomes pregnant with his daughter, yet Pat believes it is his. Pat tries to get Perfidia to give up her revolutionary ways and settle down to raise her daughter. She refuses and continues her terrorist activities until she is caught for the murder of a security guard. Lockjaw arranges for her to enter witness protection if she gives up information about other members of the revolutionary group. She does rat out some of her people, but then flees witness protection and is never seen again.

Pat and his infant daughter flee to a sanctuary city in California, where he takes on a new identity as Bob Ferguson. We skip 16 years and find Bob living in a small, rural house off the grid. His daughter Willa is a high school student.

And now we come to the “What the hell is that?” moment.

Lockjaw is invited to join a white supremacist group called the “Christmas Adventurers.” This group of rich white businessmen and politicians worship Santa Claus and greet each other with a salute and “Heil Santa.”

Lockjaw is concerned that if they ever discover that he has a mixed-race child, he won’t be eligible for this secret organization. So, using all his resources as a federal agent, he tries to track down Pat, a.k.a. Bob, and his daughter. When he discovers their location, he comes up with an excuse to lead a massive operation on this small sanctuary town that is harboring large numbers of undocumented immigrants.

Surviving members of the underground movement get wind of the raid and rescue Willa, who is at a high school dance with her friends, just as the troops move in. They attack Bob’s cabin, but he escapes through a tunnel and rushes into town to try to meet his daughter. He is assisted by Willa’s karate sensei, who is a community leader, played by Benicio del Toro.

Bob is told that the underground has taken his daughter to safety, and he can meet her at the rendezvous point. When he calls the network to try to find out where that rendezvous point is, the person on the other end of the line insists that Bob answer a codeword. Bob has done too many drugs over the years and can’t remember the organization’s protocols.

What follows is a comedic chase involving Bob, Willa, Lockjaw, and an assassin that the white supremacy group hired to kill Lockjaw when they discovered he had a biracial child.

I would have titled the film, “One Ridiculous Thing After Another.”

Again, we have a two-hour-41-minute runtime that seems a bit excessive, but the climax moves along quickly to a poignant and satisfying ending.

I hate to admit it, but I sort of enjoyed it, and I don’t believe it is worthy of all the hype it’s been getting. The performances are top-notch, and I think Penn’s portrayal of Colonel Lockjaw was memorable. He won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for the role. I certainly would not have nominated it as a Best Picture. Unfortunately, the Academy didn’t agree with me.

It is nominated for 13 Oscars and won six. It won Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay for Paul Thomas Anderson, inspired by the novel “Vineland” by Thomas Pynchon. It also won for Best Supporting Actor for Sean Penn, Best Casting, and Best Editing. By the way, Penn did not show up to claim his award. I don’t know whether he was committed elsewhere or just didn’t want to come.

Other Oscar nominations were DiCaprio for Lead Actor, Benicio del Toro for Supporting Actor, Teyana Taylor for Supporting Actress, Cinematography, Sound, Original Score, and Production Design.

It was nominated for 13 BAFTA awards and won Best Picture, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography, and Best Supporting Actor (Sean Penn).

It received 13 Critics’ Choice nominations and won Best Picture, Director, and Adapted Screenplay.

From its 9 Golden Group nominations, it won Best Picture Comedy, Director, Screenplay, and Supporting Actress for Taylor.

Nominated for 7 SAG Actor Awards, Penn won Supporting Actor.

Overall, IMDb lists 493 nominations and 280 wins.

Its estimated budget was $130 million. It grossed $72 million in the US and Canada with a worldwide total of $209 million.

You can expect it to win multiple Oscars.

It is available on HBO Max and can be purchased or rented digitally on Prime Video and other platforms.

While we are discussing films about fighting fascism and evil, I want to call your attention to “Nürnberg”. I fully expected it to be an awards favorite, but it earned only 17 nominations and 4 wins from minor awards organizations. Oscar, Golden Globe, and BAFTA all ignored it. I was shocked.

It stars Rami Malek as Dr. Douglas Kelley, a psychiatrist who is tasked with evaluating Nazi war criminals during the Nürnberg war crime trials. Russell Crowe plays Hitler’s second-in-command, Reichsmarshall Hermann Göring. Michael Shannon plays US Associate Justice Robert H. Jackson, who presides over the war crime trials.

In my opinion, all three gave memorable performances worthy of award nominations, yet the film was overlooked. There were numerous other supporting roles that I thought were excellent as well.

With an estimated budget of $12 million, it earned $14.5 million in the US and Canada and $43 million globally.

It will be available for streaming on Netflix on March 7.

I highly recommend this film.

Let’s move on to our next pair of bizarre films, which will leave you asking, “What the hell is that?”

Our next film is yet another with a title that seems to have no relationship to the subject matter whatsoever. We’re talking about “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You.” Rose Byrne stars as a psychiatrist named Linda who is in worse mental shape than her patients. She is under treatment from another psychiatrist, played by Conan O’Brien in his first dramatic role. While not a mental case himself, he certainly is incompetent as a therapist.

Linda has a young daughter who has some sort of eating disorder and requires overnight feedings through a G-tube to supplement what little she eats by mouth during the day. Linda is in a constant battle with the girl’s doctors and insists that the G-tube be removed, but the doctors say she is not ready.

Early in the film, their apartment floods due to a water leak from the upstairs apartment. It leaves a giant hole in the ceiling of Linda’s bedroom. They are forced to live in a nearby motel until the repairs are completed. However, the repairs are taking weeks.

Somehow, the hole in the apartment is symbolic of the hole in Linda’s life. She suffers from hallucinations about the hole. These hallucinations will leave you asking, “What the hell is that?” Throughout most of the film, I began to wonder whether the apartment was really damaged or if she had just imagined it. There was also a strong possibility that supernatural forces were involved. Ultimately, I was forced to conclude that it was just depicting Linda’s mental illness. The hole was real. She may have been exaggerating its significance.

Throughout the film, the camera never shows the daughter’s face. It’s as if Linda never works her daughter in the eyes until the end of the movie.

The ending is as ambiguous as the rest of the film, so don’t expect any resolution.

Rose Byrne gives a powerful performance that is definitely worth the nomination. Unfortunately, to see that performance, you have to watch a very bizarre and confusing film, which earned no other nominations.

In addition to the Best Lead Actress Oscar nomination, she also earned nominations for the BAFTA and Golden Globes. The Golden Globes split their awards between dramas and comedies/musicals for both films and performances, and they listed this one as a comedy. Certainly, it is surreal and bizarre, but it is in no way humorous or satirical. If anything, it is a dramatic exploration of mental illness as well as the stress of having a special needs child.

IMDb lists 78 nominations and 35 wins. With an estimated budget of only $1.5 million, it only made $1.6 million worldwide. It is currently available for streaming on HBO Max.

The performance was great, but I can’t recommend the film.

Our final bizarre journey reunites director Yorgos Lanthimos and Emma Stone. I greatly enjoy their most recent collaboration on another bizarre film, “Poor Things,” which received multiple Oscar nominations two years ago.

In their new collaboration “Bugonia, “ Stone plays Michelle Fuller, the CEO of the pharmaceutical conglomerate Auxolith, who is abducted by conspiracy theorist Teddy Gatz and his autistic cousin Don. Teddy’s mother, Sandy, previously participated in a clinical trial for an Auxolith drug that rendered her comatose. Teddy has come to believe Michelle is a member of a malignant alien species known as the “Andromedans” who are killing Earth’s honeybees, destroying communities, and forcing humans into subservience.

Believe it or not, we are not at the “What the hell is that?” aspect of the film yet. That doesn’t come until the ending.

Teddy is brilliantly played by Jesse Plemons. Aidan Delbis, in his first feature film, is also memorable as the autistic cousin. The director chose to cast a neurodivergent actor with no prior acting experience, and it paid off.

The duo holds the CEO hostage in their basement. They shave her head and slather her with antihistamine cream to prevent her from communicating with her fellow aliens. You know, like you do. They plan to hold her hostage until an upcoming lunar eclipse, in which the mothership will arrive. They then expect her to take them to their Emperor to negotiate the aliens’ withdrawal from Earth.

They torture her with an electrical device, and when she is able to tolerate high levels of current, Teddy concludes she must be part of the alien royalty.

We are treated to an amazing battle of wits between Teddy and his hostage, who tries to negotiate her own release. The film appears to be a deep exploration of corporate greed and the mental illness of an out-of-control conspiracy theorist who manipulates his autistic cousin to support his bizarre activities. The story takes unexpected twists and turns along the way, making for quite compelling drama.

Emma Stone has earned a Best Leading Actress Oscar nomination. As I said, Jesse Plemons should have been nominated as well. He did receive a BAFTA nomination as Lead Actor. Both gave amazing performances.

The film is nominated for Best Picture, Adapted Screenplay, and Score. Overall, IMDb lists 133 nominations and ten wins. On the estimated budget of about $50 million, it earned only Pentagon$47 million globally.

It is currently available for streaming on Peacock TV.

I would highly recommend this film for its brilliant performances and thought-provoking themes; however, there is a problem.

Fans of this podcast might recall that last year I reviewed the 2022 Mel Gibson film “On the Line.” I thought it was a great film up until the ending, and reported that the ending would make you extremely angry at the writer and/or director. The ending ruined what was otherwise a pretty good psychological thriller.

Well, the anger and disappointment I felt about the ending of that film is nothing compared to my anger, hatred, and disappointment about this film.

I’m going to wrap up this episode, but if you are curious, after my usual closing, I will spoil the ending and explain why it ruined an otherwise brilliant film.

In our final installment of this series, I will cover the remaining four Best Picture nominations. One of which was a nice film, but it didn’t really appeal to me. The other three were amazing, including my choice for Best Future and Lead Actress Oscars.

So, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You will get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. Although I have some financial struggles, I’m not really in this for money. Still, every little bit helps.

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters. Your support means more to me than words can express.

Even if you cannot provide financial support, please, please, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. I just want more people to hear my stories.

All of my back episodes are available, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re new to this podcast. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast. Let me know what you thought of these films.

I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.

Okay, spoiler time for Bugona. Do not proceed unless you want to know how the film ends.

It was all true.

The woman really was an alien. Cutting her hair and covering her with cream really did prevent her from communicating with the mother ship. The mother ship arrived during the lunar eclipse. When she tried to beam Teddy up to the mother ship, the bomb vest he was wearing exploded.

In the final scene, the alien leadership is discussing what to do about Earth. They conclude it isn’t worth saving, and they destroy all human beings on the planet, leaving only the peaceful flora and fauna alive.

Not only did I feel betrayed as an audience member, but it also completely undermined the significance of the film as a whole. I suppose the aliens’ arrogance is not dissimilar to the corporate greed the film appears to be about. However, as an exploration of mental illness or the ridiculousness of conspiracy theorists, it completely falls apart because Teddy wasn’t crazy. It wasn’t a made-up conspiracy. He was right. He was pretty much sane. It was not really about the mental breakdown of a man whose mother was put into a coma after participating in a trial of an experimental drug.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy a good plot twist or a surprise ending. However, this was just totally ridiculous. It’s like the filmmaker is saying to the audience, “fuck you.”

My recommendation is that you watch the film for the amazing performances and for what you think it explores, and then just ignore the ending as a bad joke that didn’t land.

Meanwhile, fly safe, everyone.

Contemplating Life – Episode 110 – “The Cost of Revenge”

In this episode, I recount a harrowing experience with a health scare last week and an incident that angered me so much that I indulged the darkest parts of my personality to plot a revenge that I never intended to deliver, but simply crafted to give me peace of mind. What that plot told me about myself was quite revealing. Trigger Warning: This episode contains misogynistic and offensive language.

Links of Interest

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube Version

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 110 of Contemplating Life.

My writing mentor, award-winning author David Gerrold, often says that “90% of what writers do is to plot revenge.” He has often spoken of times when someone wronged him, and he would honor that by making them the villain or the victim in his next story. So, rather than directly taking revenge, you can get it out of your system by writing your revenge safely. As long as you avoid libel, it is legal. You don’t get bruised knuckles that you might endure if you punch someone. The satisfaction can be real, and the cost seems negligible.

I’ve engaged in such behavior on a couple of occasions. I wrote a murder mystery in which the villain was going to engineer a pandemic vaccine that would work only on smart people and offer no protection to Lesser Intelligent Populations, or LIPs, as he called them. In his opinion, the people who were so stupid that they would not take ordinary vaccines were not dying enough. He wanted to get rid of LIPs who would get the vaccine but were a drain on society due to their political ignorance, scientific ignorance, and other undesirable intellectual shortfalls.

The villain was based on the darker parts of my own personality. He wanted genocide. What does that say about me? It all started one day at the height of the COVID pandemic when I dared to say to myself, “I wish all of these anti-vax, non-mask-wearing idiots would just get COVID and die because it’s what they deserve.”

The story’s revenge arc is that the man was caught before he could carry out his scheme, and my hero, the detective, delivered ultimate justice. Essentially, I indulged my inner darkness and then purged it from me.

No harm. No foul.

Is that always true?

At the root of the need for revenge lies intense anger or hatred. And when we hate and attack someone, even justifiably, there is a cost to oneself.

The events of 2:10 AM Tuesday, March 10, 2026, are a case in point. At that time and date, I had the immense good fortune of being a patient in St. Francis Hospital in Indianapolis.

Good fortune? Indeed.

I came down with pneumonia on the morning of Friday the 6th. I sought immediate treatment. The doctors told me I also had sepsis, which is a systemic infection. Had I not arrived at the ER when I did, I would’ve died when my blood pressure crashed later that evening. The bottom line is that it was good I was there rather than in the morgue.

By Tuesday, I was well on the road to recovery.

Sleep in a hospital always comes at a premium, and the evening of the 10th/morning of the 11th was no exception.

Because of my disability, even when I am well, I use a ventilator at night to help me sleep. Think of it as an especially fancy CPAP machine. I cannot talk while on a ventilator. That feeling of vulnerability and powerlessness ranges from a serious inconvenience to occasional sheer terror.

I managed to fall asleep relatively quickly. However, soon my respiratory therapist awakened me to replace the gauze around my trach and clean the area. He was having trouble doing so because I have a big head and a short neck. Had he completed this task before putting me on the ventilator or waited until morning, he would not have awakened me. Furthermore, I could have spoken to him about strategies for performing the difficult task. I was a bit angry and frustrated, but I put it behind me.

That story is just a preamble. The real villain was an attractive and highly competent nurse whom we’ll call Michelle. We had developed quite a friendship during the two shifts she cared for me. Earlier that day, while bathing me, she noticed a blackhead on my left side near my armpit. She said she would get a pimple patch to see if it would help extract it. That was her dedication to my well-being. Be it nearly fatal sepsis or a blackhead, no problem was too big or too small for this dedicated modern-day Nightingale.

After the problem with the respiratory therapist, I dozed off.

Enter Nurse Michelle. I was awakened as she changed my IV to a different antibiotic.

It was a necessary annoyance. I dozed off again.

She returned later to draw blood from my IV line, which awakened me.

It was a necessary annoyance. I dozed off again.

Then, at 2:10 AM Tuesday, March 10, 2026, this kindhearted, competent, friendly Nurse Nightingale suddenly transformed as quickly as a lycanthrope under a full moon, becoming Nurse Nightmare when she awakened me a third time.

Why? Why this intrusion on my sleep? Why a third time?

To put the pimple patch on my armpit.

Being unable to speak while on the ventilator, I was denied the opportunity to ask her, “Why the hell did you awaken me at 2 fucking 10 am to put a God damned fucking pimple patch on my armpit?”

I couldn’t do that. She took advantage of my disability by not letting me cuss her out.

So, I did what writers do. I wrote the speech I would give her in the morning, telling her exactly how viciously she had wronged me.

The strategy was to pay her profuse compliments and then, in no uncertain terms, explain how her actions at 2:10 AM on Tuesday, March 10, 2026, not only violated her own deeply held principles but were also contrary to ancient moral law.

It went through multiple drafts in my head. Each phrase was carefully crafted to impose maximum guilt and psychological damage to her. I didn’t have access to a laptop at the moment, but I assure you, what follows is pretty close to my final draft, which I crafted entirely in my head.

I want to give a bit of a trigger warning here. This next section contains lots of horribly misogynistic and offensive content. I probably would never see these things out loud, but inside my head, they sure helped me vent my anger. So, hang on. Here we go.

This is what I intended to say:

Good morning, my friend, if I may dare to call you my friend. I think we’ve developed a good working relationship over the two shifts that you have been my nurse. We’ve joked with each other. We’ve told stories. We made the unpleasantness of a hospital stay more pleasant than it would have been otherwise.

I am an award-winning professional writer. I love telling stories… especially about myself. However, these stories are not just an expression of my ego. The primary reason I have attempted to entertain you with my inspiring life story, using all my wit and wisdom, is gratitude for all you’ve done for me.

You are a person who has dedicated your life to caring for others. In Matthew 25, (Sorry, I forgot the verse), [It’s 34-36 by the way] it says the kingdom will be inherited by those who fed me when I was hungry, clothed me when I was naked, and cared for me when I was ill. You’ve done all of these things for me.

You may have heard a more famous Scripture passage known as “The Golden Rule.” Its most common wording is, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Beyond the Bible, various forms of the proscription can be found in the writings of every major religion in the world, dating back to times more ancient than the Judeo-Christian scriptures.

This evening, while I was just drifting to sleep, you awakened me to change my IV connection to a different fluid. Although it was frustrating, you were doing your job. You were making me better so I could go home.

Considering the Golden Rule, I would think you would appreciate someone doing that for you.

Just as I was returning to the land of nod, you returned to draw blood for lab tests. Although it was frustrating, you were doing your job. Those lab tests would inform the doctor of important details about my condition, so they might craft a treatment plan to heal me.

Again, I presume you are treating me the way you might like to be treated under similar circumstances.

However, I cannot understand what kind of heartless, cruel, sadomasochistic, bitch would awaken a sleeping patient at 2:10 AM to place a fucking simple patch? If my pimply skin so sufficiently disturbed your sense of order in the universe that you felt duty-bound to remedy it, then you need to be evaluated and treated for your OCD.

Perhaps that adjective “sadomasochistic” is not just an insult but an actual fact. Perhaps you enjoy inflicting discomfort on elderly, sick patients with lifelong disabilities. Or, you enjoy being uncomfortable, and via the Golden Rule, you treat others in the twisted perversions of comfortable sleep that you yourself enjoy, you dispassionate cunt.

Your crime against me was especially torturous. As you well know, I’m unable to move a muscle, yet I have complete feeling throughout my body. When I’m on the ventilator, as I was at 2:10 AM this morning, I cannot speak. Of all of the challenges I have faced in my 70 years, seven months, 26 days of enduring my genetic neuromuscular disease, the sense of fear and hopelessness I feel while on the ventilator, unable to speak, can at times strike terror in my heart. The justifiable fear is that my potential torturer will grab me in the wrong place or twist me in a manner unsupported by my severely contracted joints. In this condition, I cannot say to my captor, “Get your stinkin’ paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”

[By the way, she was white. Unlike our president, I wouldn’t joke about apes and African-Americans.]

Fortunately, your nonconsensual physical assault on me did not injure me when you finally stumbled through the dark, found the offending lesion, and applied your lifesaving pimple patch. You did, however, disturb my comfortable position. You placed my left arm at an awkward angle, causing a discomfort level that was only slightly below the threshold of what would constitute pain.

On occasion, when my limbs are improperly positioned, it can cut off circulation. Because I am unable to operate the nurse call system, if I begin to feel tingling, I cannot call for help. This would put me at risk for blood clots, which could have extreme consequences.

Speaking of nonconsensual physical activity, one would think that an attractive whore such as yourself, living in the era of #MeToo, would be more sensitive to the personal space of someone subject to the power you hold over them.

My sincere hope and prayer is that neither you nor anyone you ever love ever has to endure what I endure as gracefully as I can every second of my life. I survive my condition mostly without complaint or bitterness. Yet, I would not wish my condition on my worst enemy.

Should you someday, heaven forbid, find yourself at age 70 years, seven months, 26 days old unable to move, unable to speak, on a ventilator, and you are disturbed at 2:10 AM by some inhumane, evil nurse, should I witness the event from heaven, I hope that the glory of being surrounded by the beatific vision of the Father, the warm embrace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, the angels and faithfully departed would sufficiently distract me from your misfortune that I would not feel moved to crackle in laughter like a silent movie villain and shout, “Karma’s a bitch isn’t it? The Golden Rule goes both ways. You might be treated as you treated others.”

Wow. Okay. So, that was my speech.

That was sufficiently vile that it could feel the paint off the walls.

One would think that my virtual revenge, satisfied through the exercise of my skill as a wordsmith, would bring me sufficient peace to return to sleep. Alas, no. A new anger arose. I looked at the clock. It was now 3:19 AM, more than an hour after the incident. I had caused myself more sleep loss than the original event. It was reminiscent of that strange paradox in football, the remedy for “delay of game” causes further delay.

One of my remedies for insomnia is to recite the mundane meditative prayer form known as The Rosary. It consists of a pattern of prayers that includes the Apostles’ Creed, 53 Hail Marys, six Glory Be, and six recitations of the Lord’s Prayer. I used to think it was a mind-numbing, worthless exercise, yet I discovered that, in some ways, it is supposed to be. It can have the same positive mind-numbing effect as chanting a mantra. Although not 100% reliable or effective, it has proven useful to me on previous bouts of insomnia. It brings a peaceful feeling, not as powerful as being in heaven as I described earlier, but it does center one’s mind on the spiritual rather than the material.

In my opinion, the most powerful phrases in the 2647 words of the rosary are “Pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death,“ which is repeated in the 53 Hail Marys, and “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us“ in the six recitations of the Lord’s Prayer. That phrase is easily a restatement of the Golden Rule. We should forgive one another so that we will be forgiven.

I looked around room 433 at St. Francis Hospital and appreciated the rich chocolate-brown of the paint on the walls, illuminated only by the glow of the vital signs monitor and the ventilator’s touch-panel controls. I saw no reason to risk peeling that paint with a vicious rant against a kindhearted, compassionate healer whose only known fault was a trivial bit of poor judgment, which caused only minor inconvenience.

I don’t think I ever actually intended to deliver the speech as written. Filled with embarrassment at my sleep-depriving obsession, I wrote a new speech. It only took perhaps five minutes and a single draft. It eliminated all of the vicious and misogynistic insults and personal attacks. It did include commentary on the Golden Rule. It included a much less pity-seeking explanation of how terrifying it can be to be unable to speak while on a ventilator and being cared for by a stranger who may not know the limits of your comfort.

In the end, I delivered a still kinder and briefer expression of my concern than my cleaned-up draft. Here, to the best of my recollection, is the conversation we had once I was taken off the ventilator just before the 7 AM shift change.

“Good morning, Chris, how did you sleep?” she asked.

“Not too well, but that is typical for a hospital. I will be okay. By the way, my friend, I have a bone to pick with you… a tiny complaint.” I believe I did a decent job of saying that sentence with a lighthearted tone.

A micro expression of surprise and embarrassment flashed across her face as she said, “Oh no. What did I do?” Her tone was similarly lighthearted.

“Well, I didn’t mind too much when you woke me up as you changed my IV. That’s your job. It helps me get better. Similarly, I didn’t mind too much when you woke me up yet again to draw my blood samples. Again, that’s part of the healing process. But, did you really need to wake me up from a sound sleep at 2:10 AM to put a pimple patch on my armpit?”

I don’t recall the exact details of what she said as she sincerely apologized. I recall the phrases, “good point,” “It could have waited until you were awake,” and a very genuine “I’m sorry.” I was more focused on the hilarious look of deep embarrassment on her face when she realized what a dumb thing she had done.

I said, “I was so angry at you at the time that I lay here and wrote the most vicious rant I could compose using my skills as an award-winning professional writer. If, heaven forbid, in your old age, you ever find yourself being awakened by a nurse for a dumb reason, I’ve got a really good speech you could deliver. I could type it up and give you a copy just in case.”

She laughed and said, “Naw, I’ll pass. I trust it was bad.”

“It was.”

She returned the next day for our third and final day together, and we maintained a working relationship that could be accurately described as a friendship. As discussed in previous episodes of this podcast, sometimes the sign of a valuable friendship is the ability to offer a prophet’s guidance, such as Nathan delivered to King David when he screwed up. Sometimes, our conscience takes over and calls us back to a better version of ourselves without the outside intervention of a trusted spiritual guide.

So, what have we learned?

Chris likes to brag that award-winning author David Gerrold mentors him. He similarly likes to brag about having won an award himself. David has a Hugo and a Nebula on the shelf – the two highest honors in science fiction. My award was a local journalism award.

But more to the point, this episode is titled “The Cost of Revenge.” Is rant writing a safe and effective way to vent our frustrations and subdue our inner demons? Is there a cost to literary revenge? Mental health counselors often instruct patients to journal their feelings. This can be especially useful for survivors of crime or abuse. Getting it out on paper and then burning it can be a healing process. But are there hidden costs?

In my case, there were. The unnecessary lack of sleep I got that night, as I obsessively plotted revenge, left me exhausted, and I didn’t recover for two days. That exhaustion was detrimental to my recovery.

Writing theoretical revenge might be therapeutic if one does not become obsessed with it. A deep obsession for revenge has its costs.

According to Catholic theology, the desire to do evil is also sinful. As comedian George Carlin once explained, “If you wake up one morning and decide I’m going down to 42nd St. to commit a mortal sin, save your car fare. You did it.” That may seem to be an extreme position. However, it focuses on intent rather than action. I think that’s a good thing. Except in the case of negligence, is there any moral liability for unintentional harm?

Here are some final observations.

It wasn’t about the pimple patch.

It wasn’t about fantasy revenge.

It wasn’t about self-destructive obsession.

It was about something I rarely contemplate when I’m contemplating life.

It was about trying to endure for 70 years, seven months, and 26 days of living with a severe, ever-worsening disability.

It was about surviving another attempt on my life that nearly succeeded and forced me to wrestle even more acutely with my mortality.

A social worker visited me earlier that day. We talked about advance directives. It’s standard procedure for them to have someone discuss it with you. I’ve always been full code. She asked, “Are you okay with them breaking your ribs during CPR?” I instinctively said yes. A few years ago, I would’ve said cracked ribs were a small price to pay for some more time on earth. But the more I thought about it, I’m not sure I could survive cracked ribs. I have enough difficulty breathing now. Break my ribs, and I would die all over again from respiratory distress. So why die in pain?

The next day, I called her back and said, “List me as DNR, do not resuscitate.”

Let me be clear. I don’t want to die. I’m still scared to death of dying. I still have work to do in this world, and I’d like to do it as long as possible. I think God agrees with me. If he didn’t think I still had work to do, he would have taken me out of here a long time ago. But when my time is up, I want to die in peace.

Look, if I don’t want someone putting a pimple patch on me while I’m on the ventilator when I cannot say stop, I certainly don’t want them to break my ribs. I’m saying stop now while I can.

I still want to live. But I want to live in peace.

That wraps things up for this special edition. I’m sorry I didn’t get to complete my Oscar movie reviews before the awards were given out on March 15. As you can see, I was a bit preoccupied with staying alive. I have two more Oscar episodes to go, and then I’m not sure what comes after that. So stay tuned.

And, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You will get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. Although I have some financial struggles, I’m not really in this for money. Still, every little bit helps.

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters. Your support means more to me than words can express.

Even if you cannot provide financial support, please, please, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. I just want more people to hear my stories.

All of my back episodes are available, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re new to this podcast. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast. I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.

Contemplating Life – Episode 109 – “Oscar 2025: There’s No Business Like Showbusiness”

In this episode, we continue our look at Oscar-nominated films. We will discuss three nominated films and a bonus film about men who have devoted their lives to show business. As they age, they look back at the sacrifices they had to make to fulfill their dreams.

Links of Interest

Movie awards for 2025 releases

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube Version

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 109 of Contemplating Life – Oscar Edition.

In this episode, we continue our look at Oscar-nominated films. We will discuss three nominated films and a bonus film about men who have devoted their lives to show business. As they age, they look back at the sacrifices they had to make to fulfill their dreams.

When I first saw previews for the film “Song Sung Blue” starring Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson, I was quite excited because it appeared to be a biopic about singing legend Neil Diamond. Then I saw Jackman on the Stephen Colbert talk show, and I was greatly disappointed that it was the true story of a man and his wife who formed a Neil Diamond tribute band.

Mike and Claire Sardia performed in the 1990s around Milwaukee and Chicago under the names Lightning and Thunder.

This film is based on a 2008 documentary also titled “Song Sung Blue.”

I was so disappointed that it wasn’t an actual Neil Diamond biopic that I wasn’t sure I wanted to watch it when it came to streaming. However, Kate Hudson received Golden Globe, SAG Actor, BAFTA, and Oscar nominations for her portrayal of Claire, so I had to check it out.

Although there are tragic moments in their lives, overall, it is a feel-good movie. The musical numbers will make you smile and sing along. I’m not just talking about “Sweet Caroline.” Hugh Jackman does an amazing job of channeling Mike channeling Neil Diamond. We know from other films that Jackman can sing well. However, on a few occasions, I thought I detected him deliberately singing ever so slightly off-key, which added realism to the performance.

Claire not only sings backup to her husband, but she also sings classic songs by Patsy Cline. Kate Hudson also does all of her own singing in the film and never misses a note. In preparation for the role, she stopped her usual skincare regimen, which had included occasional Botox injections. She also gained 15 pounds for the role.

The original documentary is available for free on YouTube. I have provided a link. Most of the major plot points in this drama follow the true story depicted in the documentary. Writer/director Craig Brewer only takes a few minor dramatic licenses with the ending of the story.

You can’t help but root for this hard-luck couple. Mike is a part-time auto mechanic, Vietnam veteran, and recovering alcoholic who has been sober for 20 years as the movie opens. He has a teenage daughter from a previous marriage who visits occasionally. Claire is a single mom with a teenage daughter and a preteen son who tries to make ends meet working as a hairdresser. In the documentary, it says that at one point she was on welfare.

You journey with them through highs and lows. Their goodhearted yet less-than-competent manager, played by Jim Belushi, accidentally books them in a biker bar, and a fight nearly breaks out when someone in the crowd yells, “Neil Diamond sucks!”

They bounce back when Eddie Vedder invites them to open for Pearl Jam at a Milwaukee concert.

Both of those incidents are depicted in the documentary.

Just when you think that their careers might be ready to take off, Claire is hit by a car in her front yard as she is working in her flower garden. She loses her lower leg in the accident and falls into a deep depression and becomes dependent on pain medication, which leaves her listless and lifeless.

Meanwhile, Mike struggles to stay sober and battles a serious heart condition.

For several days after watching the film, I couldn’t stop humming Neil Diamond songs. Just when I managed to get the songs out of my head, my sister watched the film, and it all came back again for several days.

You will laugh, and cry, and be thoroughly entertained by this film. I wholeheartedly recommend it. It’s currently available to stream on Peacock TV and to rent or purchase on Amazon and other services. I can also recommend the documentary.

I want to give a brief note about some of the special effects. For fans of special effects like me, I know that giving a person an amputated limb is relatively easy. You put a green sock over the limb, which lets you easily edit it out, and then add a CGI stump. But there is one scene where Claire is lying in bed and reaches down to scratch the end of her stump. I’m not sure how they did it. It left me with the impression that the special effects artists deliberately did that to make people like me wonder how they did it.

As previously mentioned, Kate Hudson is nominated for the Best Actress Oscar. IMDb reports 13 nominations and 4 wins. On an estimated $30 million budget, it earned $39 million in the US and Canada and $57 million worldwide.

Our remaining films in this episode are not as uplifting as “Song Sung Blue.”

While we are covering films with the word “blue” in the title, let’s look at “Blue Moon.”

Director Richard Linklater and Ethan Hawke team up for their ninth film together. In this biopic, Hawke plays legendary Broadway lyricist Lorenz Hart, who, with Richard Rodgers, wrote 28 musicals and over 500 songs.

The film has been in development for over a decade. Linklater wanted Hawke for the part but concluded he wasn’t old enough for the role. So they waited 10 years and spent the time polishing the script. That may seem like a long time, but consider that in one of their previous collaborations, “Boyhood,” they spread the filming over 12 years so that the main character could gradually age throughout the movie.

In this film, we learn that Lorenz Hart struggled with alcoholism and had a poor work ethic, which led Rogers to team up with lyricist Oscar Hammerstein to create the hit musical “Oklahoma!”

The entirety of the film depicts the events of March 31, 1943, the opening night of “Oklahoma!” Hart wanders out of the theater before the play finishes and goes to the famous Sardi’s restaurant, where preparations are underway for a party to celebrate the opening of the musical. There, he drinks and pours out his soul to the bartender, played by Bobby Cannavale, a piano player, and a delivery boy. He also discusses the art of writing with the famous author E.B. White.

Hart reveals his infatuation with Elizabeth Weiland, a 20-year-old Yale art student and aspiring production designer. After months of correspondence and an unconsummated weekend with Elizabeth, 47-year-old Hart believes this may be the night he finally wins her love.

Screenwriter Robert Kaplow based the story on letters that Hart and Weiland exchanged, but I don’t believe there is any claim that the events depicted in the film actually occurred. For example, there is no evidence he ever met E.B. White.

Kaplow is nominated for his Best Original Screenplay, which is very much deserved. I’m confused about why this isn’t an adapted screenplay, given that it is based on the correspondence between Hart and Weiland. Give me a break, a couple of years ago, Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach were nominated for adapted screenplay simply because the “character” Barbie was created by someone else. It wasn’t based on any other movie, TV show, or book about Barbie. It was a highly original take on the character. Oh well.

In this amazing screenplay and performances, we are treated to a magnificent exploration of the art of writing and the sad story of a lonely man who sees his career coming to an end. There are heartbreaking exchanges between him and Richard Rogers as Hart tries to pitch him an idea for a musical about Marco Polo with a love story that parallels his obsession with young Elizabeth.

Rogers suggests they could collaborate on a revival of their musical “A Connecticut Yankee,” but he shows no interest in any other collaborations. In real life, they did revive an updated version of that musical later in 1943. It was their final collaboration.

Seven months after the premiere of “Oklahoma!” Hart collapsed in the street and died a few days later.

Ethan Hawke delivers a truly Oscar-worthy performance. I thoroughly enjoyed this depiction of such a tragic character. I don’t think he has much of a chance against his other nominees, which include Leonardo DiCaprio, Timothée Chalamet, and Michael B. Jordan. Given the opportunity, Hawke would be getting my vote.

In real life, Hart stood just under 5 feet tall. The filmmakers used a variety of practical special effects to make the other actors tower over Hart. At times, I found this distracting, and it pulled me out of the story. Other than that, I loved it.

IMDb reports 73 nominations and 15 wins.

This made-for-Netflix film only earned $3 million worldwide and is still available for streaming on that platform.

Our final nominated film for this episode is “Sentimental Value.” This is a Norwegian film with dialogue in Norwegian, French, and English. I watched it with English subtitles.

It is the story of two sisters, Agnes and Nora, who are estranged from their father Gustav, who divorced their mother when they were children. There is a voiceover narration at the beginning of the film that tells the story of this family from the perspective of the house they live in. We see the sisters’ relationship and the failing one between their parents, which leads to him leaving.

We jump ahead to find adult Nora is a successful stage actress who suffers from nearly debilitating bouts of stage fright. Agnes is married and has a young son, Erik. She works as a historian.

When their mother passes away, their father Gustav, played by Stellan Skarsgård, returns to their lives because their childhood home is still in his name. He is a renowned filmmaker who is struggling to get his films made late in his career. He has written a film about his mother, who was a resistance fighter against the Nazis during World War II. She had committed suicide in that home. Gustav wants to film his movie in the home and tries to recruit his actress daughter Nora to the role.

She cannot forgive him for abandoning them when she was a child and refuses to even read the script.

Agnes is only slightly more open to a relationship with her father. He quickly develops a relationship with Erik, his grandson. Later in the film, he tries to recruit the boy to play young Gustav in his new film. Agnes had a part in one of his earlier films as a child, even though it was her sister who went on to have a career as an actress.

Along the way, Gustav meets a famous young American actress, Rachel, portrayed by Elle Fanning, who agrees to play the role that Agnes turned down. The problem is, if she takes the part, the film will have to be made in English. They debate whether she should attempt a Norwegian accent.

The film is filled with deeply dramatic scenes as the daughters and their father struggle to reconcile their past. There are quality performances all around.

It has received nine Oscar nominations. Best Picture, Best Foreign Picture, Best Lead Actress for Renate Reinsve as Nora, Best Supporting Actress for both Elle Fanning and Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas as Agnes, Best Supporting Actor for Stellan Skarsgård as Gustav. Director Joachim Trier has a Best Director nomination, and with co-author Eskil Vogt, has earned a Best Original Screenplay nomination. Additionally, it has earned an Oscar nomination for Film Editing.

All the performances are worthy of their nominations. Again, I have to complain about the categories. Skarsgård is nominated for Supporting Actor, and indeed, the story is primarily about the daughters. However, he is the most prominent male character in the story. Does that not make him a lead actor?

IMDb lists 297 nominations and 64 wins. With an estimated budget of $7.8 million, it earned only $5 million in the US and Canada, but its worldwide total was a respectable $21.4 million. It is not yet available for streaming, but can be rented or purchased through Amazon and other digital download sources.

Even after I told you about all the Oscar nominations it has received and that they are well-deserved, watching a 2-hour 13-minute movie in Norwegian, subtitled in English, might not be your cup of tea. Let me offer you a similar alternative.

The Netflix film “Jay Kelly” stars George Clooney and Adam Sandler, both of whom received Golden Globe nominations for their performances. Clooney plays the title character, a famous actor whose career sounds a lot like George Clooney’s. He isn’t exactly playing himself, but it’s not at all difficult to find him credible in this role.

After decades of success, he begins to realize that life has passed him by, and like Gustav in our previous film, he tries to reconnect with his two adult daughters. He decides to ditch his commitments to his next film to chase his daughter across Europe as she travels with friends before going off to college. He wants to reconnect with her and make up for lost time.

Adam Sandler plays his manager. Laura Dern is his publicist. Billy Crudup plays an old friend who blames Jay for stealing a role from him when they were young, struggling actors together. Like several of the films I’ve reviewed over the past two years, this one explores the cost to those who attach themselves to driven people.

We get plenty of drama as Kelly struggles with his life choices and his unsuccessful attempts to reconcile things with his daughters. However, this is mitigated by many comedic moments that help carry you through this relatively dark storyline.

Director Nora Baumbach blends flashback scenes with current scenes as Kelly physically walks through his past, much like Scrooge is led through scenes from his past by the ghosts of Christmas.

Baumbach co-wrote the screenplay with Emily Mortimer, who has a small role as Kelly’s hairdresser.

Although Oscar passed it over, IMDb lists 37 nominations and 12 wins. IMDb does not list any budget or income figures. It was screened at multiple film festivals and only saw limited release in theaters. It is currently available for streaming on Netflix.

I highly recommend it, especially if Sentimental Value doesn’t appeal to you. This film is much more accessible and entertaining while remaining a poignant look at the struggles of balancing a career in show business with family relationships.

That wraps it up for this episode. In my next installment, I will take a look at four films that were perhaps my least favorite of the bunch, even though one of them is a major contender for multiple awards.

So, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You will get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. Although I have some financial struggles, I’m not really in this for money. Still, every little bit helps.

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters. Your support means more to me than words can express.

Even if you cannot provide financial support, please, please, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. I just want more people to hear my stories.

All of my back episodes are available, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re new to this podcast. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast. Let me know what you thought of these films.

I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.

Contemplating Life – Episode 108 – “Oscar 2025: Something Wicked This Way Comes”

It’s time for my annual review of the 10 Best Picture Oscar-nominated films. In this episode, we review three nominated horror films: Frankenstein, Weapons, and Sinners. I’m not going to be able to finish all of these reviews by the March 15 Oscar ceremony, but even if I can’t get them recorded, I will write the scripts and post them on the podcast website and on Patreon. Post comments and tell me what you thought of these films.

Links of Interest

List of films featuring Frankenstein’s monster on Wikipedia:

Movie awards for 2025 releases

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube Version

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 108 of Contemplating Life – Oscar Edition.

For the third year in a row, over the next few episodes, I will review all 10 films nominated for Best Picture by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a.k.a. the Oscars. We will also review all films that received acting nominations but were not nominated for Best Picture. Also, we will include some comments on a couple of films that did not get nominated. I may have time to recommend a couple of quality films that were passed over for this year’s awards.

The good news is, I was able to see all 10 films and all of the films that received acting nominations. The bad news is, I will not be able to produce enough episodes to cover them all before the awards are presented on March 15. I may be able to write scripts for all of those episodes, and if so, I will post them on the podcast website and Patreon. I will probably record them for audio and video versions later. There will not be loads of video clips and still images in the YouTube version. I really enjoy including such clips, but they take a lot of time to edit. I just don’t have time.

Of the 10 Best Picture nominees, only one of the films left me flat. I would not have nominated it for any awards. Another one I thought was amazing right up until the ending. That ending ruined the experience for me. I greatly enjoyed the remaining eight films.

To bring you up to speed on some terminology, the Golden Globe Awards were presented by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association on January 11. The British Academy of Film and Television Arts (BAFTA) Awards were presented on February 22. The Actor awards, formerly known as the Screen Actors Guild Awards, were presented on March 1. I will refer to these as SAG Actor awards because just calling them “Actor Awards” would be confusing. Additionally, the Internet Movie Database or IMDb reports dozens of other minor awards, most of which you’ve never heard of. We will report IMDb’s total nominations and wins, even if they’re for obscure awards. Any box office numbers we report are courtesy of IMDb. With that business terminology out of the way, let’s get to the reviews.

I don’t know if I’m good at seeing patterns where none exist, or if once again this year’s films can be grouped into specific categories or themes.

We have a group of stories about struggling entertainers. A pair of dramas about men whose work takes them away from home. A group of films about the battle for justice against fascism and corruption. All of the above explore the struggle to maintain family connections amid these pursuits. There are two stories of obsessively driven sports competitors who are the best in their fields. We have a pair of bizarre, surrealistic stories about mental illness. Finally, in this episode, we explore three phenomenal horror stories, one of which set the record for the most Oscar nominations for a single film.

The title of this episode is “Something Wicked This Way Comes.” This quote comes from Shakespeare’s “Macbeth,” Act 4, Scene 1. The full quote is delivered by a witch who says, “By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes.” However, this is not the episode where we review the movie about William Shakespeare. And despite the word “Wicked” in the title, it’s not about that film either. But there will be thumb-pricking involved.

Briefly, “Wicked: For Good”, the sequel to last year’s “Wicked,” received 135 nominations, including nominations for SAG Actors Awards, Golden Globes, and BAFTAs. The Oscars completely bypassed it. I enjoyed it, but not nearly as much as I enjoyed part one. You may recall that last year, part one inspired an entire series of episodes exploring my fandom for fantasy films. This one was okay, but did not affect me as much as the original.

So, what are we talking about in this episode?

Let’s start with the reimagining of what many claim to be the very first science fiction story ever written… Frankenstein. The film was written and directed by Guillermo del Toro, based on Mary Shelley’s classic story.

My first question was, “Do we really need another Frankenstein movie?” According to Wikipedia, as of January 2026, a body of 469 known feature films, 236 short films, 93 TV series, and 394 TV episodes feature some version or interpretation of the character Frankenstein’s monster, first created by Mary Shelley in her 1818 novel Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus. I’ve included a link to Wikipedia’s list of films featuring Frankenstein’s monster.

Oscar Isaac plays Victor Frankenstein, who is believably obsessed to the point of abandoning morality, yet avoids the sort of over-the-top manic portrayals we have seen in other versions of the story. The creature is magnificently portrayed by 6’5” Jacob Elordi, who is nominated for a supporting actor Oscar that is well-deserved. His portrayal is of a creature who is initially enslaved by his maker, escapes, and goes on a quest for revenge against that maker for creating him in such an awful state.

My best estimate is that I only read parts of the original story sometime in 1973. In that year, there was a made-for-TV movie called “Frankenstein: The True Story.” They were not implying that this was a true story, but that this version was the most true to the original work. It wasn’t what I was expecting. So, I went to the library, checked out the original, and only got a few pages in before I realized that the TV movie was nothing like the original novel. I don’t recall if I read the entire book. Once I realized how bogus that TV version was, I had proved my point.

Note that in the first draft of this podcast, I incorrectly identified this bogus “true story” as another made-for-TV film from 1992, which included the tagline, “The legend has been told for generations… The real story is the most horrifying of all.” I don’t know how accurate that version was. I’m pretty sure the one I remembered was from 73 because I was routinely going to the library in those days and not in 92. Anyway…

From what I recall of that reading, and reviewing the plot summary on Wikipedia, this version is a hell of a lot closer to Shelley’s story than any other version I’ve seen. My one initial disappointment in this latest retelling was the absence of Frankenstein’s hunchbacked assistant Igor. A Google search informed me that that character was not in the original novel. I have linked a Wikipedia article that explains the origin of the character sometimes called Fritz and other times called Ygor (with a “Y”) and how this character became fixed in our imaginations. It’s fascinating reading.

This latest retelling is a quality film with quality performances. The creature had a slightly more supernatural inability to be killed than I would have liked, given that the overall feeling of the film was not supernatural beyond the premise that the doctor was able to reanimate a stitched-together corpse.

Overall, I enjoyed it. I can recommend it. However, it is not a strong enough recommendation for me to urge you to say, “Don’t miss this must-see film.”

It’s 9 Oscar nominations: Best Picture, Supporting Actor for Jacob Elordi, Best Adapted Screenplay for Del Toro, Original Music Score by Alexandre Desplat, Cinematography, Sound, Production Design, Costume Design, and Makeup and Hairstyling. IMDb lists 59 wins and 257 nominations total. It has an estimated budget of $120 million. Made for Netflix, it grossed only $114,496 in limited theatrical release to make it Oscar-eligible. It is currently available on Netflix.

Our next film’s only Oscar nomination is for supporting actress Amy Madigan. We are talking about the box office hit “Weapons” from writer/director Zach Cregger. Initially, I wasn’t sure I’d bother watching it. I wanted to focus on the Best Picture and Lead Performance categories. I’m not a huge fan of the horror genre. I am very happy I checked this one out.

The story begins with a voiceover from a young girl who explains that at 2:17 AM in Maybrooke, Pennsylvania, 17 of 18 children in a third-grade classroom got out of bed, ran out of their houses, and disappeared into the night. The film begins weeks later at a town hall meeting in the school, in which distraught parents are demanding answers. Their anger is directed at the teacher, Justine Grandy, played by Julia Garner. She is as clueless as anyone else in town about what happened.

The lone survivor of the incident, Alex Lilly, is transferred to another third-grade classroom with a different teacher. Ms. Grandy is dismissed from her teaching job not only because she no longer has students to teach but because no one would ever trust her to care for their children again.

She begs the school principal, Marcus Miller, played by Benedict Wong, to allow her to speak to the boy Alex, in an attempt to uncover what really happened. The principal refuses. When she stalks the boy on his way home from school, he refuses to speak with her and says he wants to be left alone.

She busies her time drinking vodka and having an affair with a married police officer.

The film shifts focus several times, showing events from different characters’ perspectives. It’s not quite like the classic “Rashomon” storytelling technique, in which different characters observe the same events from different perspectives. Rather, each retelling of the events fits together pieces of the puzzle, gradually revealing the truth.

Minus spoilers are coming here. Trust me, there are still many plot twists and surprises I’m leaving out.

The first half of the film is a compelling mystery story as various people try to piece together what happened. It’s not until we’re nearly halfway through the film that it becomes obvious there are supernatural forces at work. These come courtesy of young Alex’s great aunt Gladys, who practices some sort of voodoo-like magic that allows her to control people and turn them into weapons. Thus, the name of the film. The voodoo magic requires the witch to prick her finger on a thorn, which makes a nice reference to the Shakespeare line we mentioned earlier.

Josh Brolin is excellent in a supporting role as the father of one of the missing children who teams up with the teacher to conduct their own investigation. There is a humorous side story about the police officer (the one who is having an affair with the teacher) who has a run-in with a homeless drug addict who plays a key role in the investigation.

When the story shifts to the young boy Alex’s perspective, only then do we realize what’s really going on. We are taken on a wild ride of violence and gore, featuring some of the most memorable horror scenes I’ve ever seen.

While some reviewers were disappointed in the ending, I felt it built to a thrilling, memorable, and satisfying conclusion.

I found the film way more entertaining than I expected. Although a bit slow-moving in the first half, the suspense of the mystery keeps you watching until all hell breaks loose.

Amy Madigan’s portrayal of the evil Aunt Gladys earned her a Supporting Actress Oscar nomination. She won a Critics’ Choice Award for the role, as well as a Golden Globe and SAG Actors nominations. The film was also nominated for a Globe under their bizarre “Cinematic and Box Office Achievement” award, given to popular films that would not otherwise have received awards. Julia Garner as the teacher and Josh Brolin as the father of one of the missing children give quality performances, but not necessarily award-worthy ones. IMDb lists 46 wins from 114 nominations, including several for the original screenplay by writer/director Zach Cregger.

With an estimated budget of $38 million, it grossed $151 million in the US and Canada and $269.9 million worldwide. It is available for purchase on Amazon Video and for streaming on HBO Max.

I very much enjoyed it and can recommend it if you like any kind of horror stories.

Rounding out our trio of horror films is one of the year’s most talked-about films, which has earned a record 16 Oscar nominations. We are talking about the hit movie “Sinners” starring Michael B. Jordan and Michael B. Jordan. That’s correct. Jordan plays twin brothers nicknamed Smoke and Stack. He is nominated in the Oscar category officially described as “Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role.” My question is, “Which performance earned him the nomination? Was it for brother Smoke or brother Stack?”

Anyway…

The film is set in 1932 in Clarksdale, Mississippi. The twin brothers, whose real names are Elijah and Elias, have just returned to their hometown after working for an organized crime gang known as the Outfit in Chicago. Using money they stole from the mob, they purchase an old sawmill to convert it into a nightclub known as a juke joint.

They recruit an old friend, pianist Delta Slim, and their cousin Sammy, who plays guitar and sings, to perform at their new venue. They are also assisted by a husband-and-wife Chinese couple who operate a supply store in town. Smoke’s estranged wife, Annie, does the cooking. She believes in hoodoo magic, which she believes has protected the twins for years. Smoke is not a believer because the magic failed to prevent the death of their infant daughter. Stack reunites with his ex-girlfriend Mary, a light-skinned black woman who passes as white. Sammy becomes enamored with an attractive singer named Pearline.

Meanwhile, an Irish-immigrant vampire named Remmick is being pursued by Choctaw vampire hunters who are trying to kill him. He sees refuge in the home of a Klansman and his wife, whom he converts into vampires.

For me, the most memorable scene in the movie is when Sammy is performing in the club, and his music is so powerful that it attracts the spirits of performers past, present, and future. This includes the spirit of the Chinese ancestors of the shopkeeper couple. It is an amazing piece of filmmaking.

Sammy’s music is so pure that it also attracts the evil of the vampires. They try to enter the venue but are not allowed. However, anyone who stepped outside was attacked by the vampires and converted. The remainder of the film is the struggle of the people inside the club to survive the evil lurking just outside and to determine who among their number may have been converted into a vampire. It is reminiscent of John Carpenter’s sci-fi horror classic “The Thing,” in which scientists in an Antarctic outpost are infected and converted by an alien. No one can be sure whether or not the person next to them has been converted.

The cinematography is magnificent. There are quality performances throughout, including the musical performances.

The 16 Oscar nominations are as follows: Best Picture, Best Lead Actor Michael B.Jordan, Best Supporting Actor Delroy Lindo as Delta Slim, Best Supporting Actress Wunmi Mosaku as Annie. Ryan Coogler is nominated for Best Director and for Best Original Screenplay. Other nominations for Cinematography, Sound, Original Score, Original Song, Casting, Visual Effects, Makeup/Hairstyling, Production Design, Costume Design, and Film Editing.

IMDb Lists 285 Wins from 481 nominations, including 13 BAFTA nominations and BAFTA wins for original screenplay and supporting actress. It turned 4 wins from 17 Critics’ Choice nominations. It won the Golden Globe for Cinematic and Box Office Achievement as well as 6 other Globe nominations. I would have nominated Miles Caton for his portrayal of cousin Sammy rather than for Delroy Lindo as Delta Slim. IMDb lists him receiving 21 wins from 36 nominations, several of which were for young actors or rising stars, and some were awards for being part of an ensemble cast.

IMDb reports an estimated budget of $90 million with a US and Canada gross of $280 million and a worldwide gross of $270 million.

Overall, I enjoyed it but thought it was a bit overhyped. It opened in early April, and some critics were already saying it was destined to win Best Picture. There were lots of memorable moments, and I understand why it received all of those nominations, but I cannot describe it as “must-see.” It did not leave a lasting impression on me the way some of the other nominated films did.

That wraps it up for part one of our review of Oscar-nominated films.

My personal life is so complicated, I don’t have time to tell you about it. The bottom line is I will not be able to record and edit all of the necessary episodes before the Oscars are presented on March 15. I hope to be able to write the scripts for these related episodes in this series and will post them on Patreon and the Contemplating Life website. I may or may not go back and record them as audio and video podcasts.

So, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You will get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. Although I have some financial struggles, I’m not really in this for money. Still, every little bit helps.

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters. Your support means more to me than words can express.

Even if you cannot provide financial support, please, please, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. I just want more people to hear my stories.

All of my back episodes are available, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re new to this podcast. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast. Let me know what you thought of these films.

I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.

Contemplating Life – Episode 107 – “The Greatest Story Ever Told… Again and Again”

In this episode, I combine my exploration of religion and entertainment as I discuss recurring religious themes in literature, movies, and television. I also explore ways in which authors can portray people of faith in a positive light. This material is based on a lecture I gave in my writing seminar under our mentor, award-winning science fiction author David Gerrold.

Links of Interest for this episode

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube Version

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 107 of Contemplating Life.

This podcast bills itself as being about disability, religion, politics, entertainment, and anything else I want to talk about. For this episode, we’re going to have a crossover between religion and entertainment as I explore religious themes in literature and media.

A huge spoiler warning. This episode spoils plot details from the following:

  • “The Red Badge of Courage” (1894 novel) by Stephen Crane
  • “The Citadel” (1937 novel) by A.J. Cronin
  • “South Pacific” (1949 Broadway musical) by Rodgers and Hammerstein, as well as the 1947 Pulitzer Prize-winning book “Tales of the South Pacific” by James A. Michener, upon which it is based
  • “Cyrano de Bergerac” (1897 play) by Edmond Rostand
  • “The Phantom of the Opera” (1910 novel) by Gaston Leroux, as well as Andrew Lloyd Webber’s 2010 musical sequel “Love Never Dies.”
  • “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” (1950 children’s novel) by C.S. Lewis
  • “The Greatest Story Ever Told” (1965 film) by George Stevens
  • “The Outsiders” (1967 young adult novel) by S.E. Hinton, as well as the 1983 film adaptation directed by Francis Ford Coppola
  • “Star Wars Episode I – The Phantom Menace” (1999 film) by George Lucas
  • “Blade Runner” (1982 film) by Ridley Scott
    “Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan” (1992 film) by Nicholas Myers, as well as the 1984 film “Star Trek: The Search for Spock” (1984 film) by Leonard Nimoy
  • “Short Circuit” (1986) by John Badham
  • The New Testament
  • and last but not least, Season 5 of the hit Netflix series “Stranger Things.”

I’m serious. If you don’t want any of these spoiled, especially the ending of “Stranger Things,” do not proceed. You can’t just quit when I get to the part about “Stranger Things.” Because once you listen to any of this episode, it’s going to spoil the end of that show.

Over a recent 10-day stretch, I binge-watched all 42 episodes of “Stranger Things.” Even if this podcast spoils the ending, I still recommend you watch it.

Proceed with caution. You were warned.

In 1965, filmmaker George Stevens directed the epic film “The Greatest Story Ever Told”. While the honor of having that title is self-proclaimed, one can understand why it is titled such. The film depicts key moments in the life of Jesus of Nazareth from his birth in Bethlehem through his death, resurrection, and ascension into heaven. It originated from a 1947 half-hour radio series based on the four Gospels of the New Testament.

I told you I was going to spoil the New Testament. In case you didn’t hear, in the end, Jesus dies and then rises from the dead three days later. Sorry, I spoiled that.

That radio drama was in turn adapted into a novel by Fulton Oursler. The film is adapted from Oursler’s novelization.

Whether or not you are a believer in the Christ story, you have to admit that with over 2.6 billion Christians in the world today and God only knows how many before that over the past 2000 years, it is the most influential story (for better or worse) in recorded history.

The key element of the story is that the Savior’s death and resurrection brings redemption to all. This story is so powerful that we continue to retell it in various forms. But I’m not just talking about epic biopics like “The Greatest Story Ever Told”, the 1927 Cecil B DeMille silent film “King of Kings”, the 1959 film “Ben-Hur,” and other epic films. I’m talking about a more subtle retelling of the Christ story throughout literature.

I first became aware of something called the “Christ figure” in literature when I was in eighth grade. The class was assigned the classic Civil War novel “The Red Badge of Courage” by Stephen Crane. Initially published in 1894, it is the story of a teenage Union soldier named Henry Fleming who deserts his unit after believing the battle is lost. He is overcome with guilt when he learns later that his side won the battle.

Along the way, he befriends another soldier named Jim Conklin, who eventually dies in battle. My eighth-grade liturgy teacher taught me that this was a “Christ figure” character. She said it was a gimmick that writers use to retell the Gospel story. The clue was that the character’s initials were J.C. and that they died. The main character is redeemed or transformed somehow through the death of this character in the same way that theoretically all people are redeemed, saved, transformed, whatever, by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

My initial reaction was, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I vacillated between thinking it was a coincidence, the teacher was just crazy, or it was a cheesy gimmick used by the author because they couldn’t come up with an original story of their own. They just rewrote the Christ story in a different setting. I was somewhat offended that someone would take what appeared to be an ordinary action-adventure story of the Civil War and turn it into a backdoor way to preach the Gospel.

I have to admit, I never read the story. It was discussed in class. The important parts of the plot would be taught by the teacher. She talked about anything that would be on the test. All I had to do was pay close attention in class. I learned through experience that I didn’t need to read the entire work.

Fast forward to my sophomore year of high school. Here’s another book I was supposed to read and was able to BS my way to a passing grade without actually reading the entire novel. It was the 1937 novel “The Citadel” by A.J. Cronin. Set in 1924 Scotland, it is the story of a young doctor named Andrew Manson who goes to work in a small Scottish town. He discovers that the sanitation in the village is horrific and leads to much disease. He goes about attempting to correct the matter. Along the way, he meets, falls in love with, and marries a schoolteacher named Christine Barlow. And guess what happens to the character with the word “Christ” in her name? She gets hit by a bus and dies.

Again, the teacher tells us that Christine is a Christ figure in the story. She comes into his life, redeems him, and dies. And he is the better for it. My teacher explained that not only is there symbolism in her name, Christine, but the name Manson was symbolic as well.Throughout the Gospelsl, Jesus often refers to himself as “the Son of Man”. Alternatively, Manson represents mankind who is redeemed by the Christ figure.

I was similarly unimpressed by this gimmick. I couldn’t believe that the so-called great literature worthy of being taught in school was being so… what was the term I was looking for? “Unoriginal,” perhaps? All because it was stealing the plot from the Gospel.

On the final exam, there was a question, “Why did Christine have to die? I wrote, “Because she was the Christ figure and the Christ figure always dies in these types of stories.” If it had been an oral exam, the teacher would’ve heard my answer dripping with a sarcastic tone. I thought this whole “Christ figure” gimmick was BS to begin with, so I was going to give a BS answer. Much to my surprise, the test marked that answer as correct. I couldn’t believe it.

A year later, I discovered the works of S.E.Heton and her 1965 classic young adult novel “The Outsiders”. It is a coming-of-age story about 14-year-old Ponyboy Curtis and his friend Johnnycake. The book was famous not only because it was a great story, but also because the author wrote it when she was a teenager.

By the way, Johnnycake was spelled all one word. His actual name was Johnny Cade. He got that nickname because he loved to eat cake.

At one point in the story, the main characters encounter a small church that is on fire, and there are children trapped inside. Three of them rush into the building to save the children. Two of them came out with only minor injuries, but the building collapsed on Johnny and broke his spine. Guess what happened to him? He dies.

This one snuck up on me. It wasn’t a reading assignment for a class. I read the book because it was highly recommended and highly popular. It wasn’t obvious that Johnny was a Christ figure. On the other hand, he literally “descended into hell” (quoting the Apostles Creed) to rescue innocent people from the flames. Throughout the story, he’s referred to simply as Johnny or Johnnycake. If he had gone by the name Johnny Cake with two words capitalized, I would’ve realized his initials were JC sooner. But once I got to the part where he landed in the hospital, I remembered that a few pages earlier, he had left a note and signed it “J.C.”

I slammed the book shut, threw it across the table, as best I could given my disability, and mumbled a long string of expletives. Once I realized that Johnnycake was JC, I knew he was a goner. So, in that famous death scene in the hospital where Johnny finally kicks the bucket and, in his dying words, tells his friend Ponyboy, “Stay gold.” I already knew he was going to die, but it really meant something. This was nearly 50 years ago, but as I recall, the story brought me to tears.

Now I got it. I get why they did it. It took a story about a bunch of teenage kids that I had grown to care about before I got the point. I never read “The Red Badge of Courage” and probably wouldn’t have gotten very attached to the characters if I did. I couldn’t identify with the young Union soldier during the Civil War. I certainly wasn’t going to care much about some Scottish doctor in 1927 and his schoolteacher wife in “The Citadel,” even if I had read the entire novel. But here was a story that spoke to me, and it suckered me in.

Ever since then, I’ve noticed it been propping up in other places. Even though my high school put on the production of the musical “South Pacific”, it wasn’t until some years later, while watching the film version, that I realized why Lieutenant Joe Cable had to die.

I never had the opportunity to read the classic play Cyrano de Bergerac, but I recently caught the 2021 movie “Cyrano” starring Peter Dinklage. Once I realized that Christian was going off to war, I knew he wasn’t coming back.

When I learned that the girl in “The Phantom of the Opera” was named Christine, I kept expecting her to die, but she didn’t. I was almost disappointed. She was a redeeming character, but in my opinion, the story fell short because she didn’t die. At least not until that ill-fated follow-up by Andrew Lloyd Weber, “Love Never Dies.”

In the 1950 classic children’s novel “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis, he explicitly explains that the death and resurrection of the lion, Aslan, is to teach the children about the death and resurrection of Jesus.

Probably the most clever example of the phenomenon was in the 1986 film “Short Circuit” starring Ally Sheedy and Steve Guttenberg. It is the story of a cute little robot named “Number 5” who becomes sentient. Upon awakening, he becomes obsessed with gaining knowledge. He runs around for several minutes repeating the phrase “need input, need input” until he finally declares, “Number 5 is alive.”

By the way, if you are familiar with the Enneagram personality typology, the robot Number 5 is most definitely a type 5. The only other numbered robots in the film are Number 1 and Number 2, and they fit the Enneagram types as well. The author must have known the Enneagram theory.

Number 5 was built by a military contractor, but he ran away with his two human friends. After a final showdown with the military bad guys, he ends up dying. At this point, there is nothing to suggest it fits our pattern. It’s just a character that died. In the final scene, Sheedy and Guttenberg are driving down a winding road in a van with the robot’s remains in the back. They are reminiscing about how he changed their lives and speculate that a part of him will always be with them. Suddenly, Number 5 reboots and declares once again, “Number 5 is alive!”

While we now have our requisite death and resurrection, we still have a question of his name. To seal the deal, the robot then says he wants to be known not as “Number 5” but as “Johnny 5”. While it’s not like he had the initials JC or went by Christian Computer or something, the initial “J” is a clear indicator of the author’s intent.

There is symbolism in a couple of areas. John’s Gospel describes Jesus as “the Word made Flesh.” In other words, Jesus is God’s word incarnate. The robot becomes alive through the acquisition of knowledge or words. So he is incarnate of words.

In Luke 24, we have the story of two disciples on the road to Emmaus. They are reliving the events of Jesus’ arrest, crucifixion, and death. They encounter a stranger who travels with them as they are recounting the stories of Jesus. He explains to them how it was foretold in Scripture that the Messiah would have to suffer and die. They share with him the ceremony of the breaking of the bread, and suddenly they realize that the stranger among them was Jesus resurrected. The stranger then disappears. In the movie, our disciples discover who Number 5 really is and experience his resurrection as they are traveling down a road. The parallels cannot be a coincidence.

I suppose, to a lesser extent, the events of Star Trek II and III, in which we have the death and resurrection of Mr. Spock, could qualify him as a Christ figure, although it’s too late to change his name to something appropriate. Spock’s sacrifice saves the crew of the Enterprise. The story is built around the friendship between Kirk and Spock. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” Spock’s final words before he dies are, “I have been and always shall be your friend.”

In the 1982 sci-fi classic “Blade Runner,” Batty has his hands pierced by a nail in his final fight with Decker. A few moments later, he dies.

One of my dearest friends is named Judy Chapman, and of course, my name is Chris. I’ve often wondered whether she is the Christ figure in my story or I am the Christ figure in her story. We both benefited personally and spiritually from our friendship, so I suppose that, in many respects, both are true. By the way, I’m not trying to sport a Messiah complex. Fortunately, neither one of us is dead yet.

Many months ago, I wrote a version of this essay for my writing class. I decided this was a good time to turn it into a podcast episode because I recently added another one to the list.

For several years, I’ve intended to watch the popular Netflix series “Stranger Things.” The first part of the fifth and final season was released on Thanksgiving. More episodes were released on Christmas Day, and the series finale was released on New Year’s Eve. With all the hype about this series ending, I decided to check it out. I started watching the day after Christmas and, about 10 days later, completed my marathon of all 42 episodes.

The main character is a girl named Eleven because she was the 11th child in a top-secret government experiment studying a group of children with various mental abilities, such as telekinesis and the ability to project their consciousness into other people’s minds over great distances. She has the number “011” tattooed on her forearm. I often wondered why it was a three digit number. Are there really that many kids in the program? Anyway, she escapes the lab where she was raised and befriended by a group of kids in the fictional town of Hawkins, Indiana.

Her new friends decide to call her “El” – short for Eleven. However, in season 2, episode 5, we learn that her real name is Jane Ives. She is adopted by the chief of police, and her name becomes Jane Hopper, but her friends still call her El or Eleven.

Throughout the series, assisted by her friends, she uses her mental abilities to battle a variety of monsters from an alternate dimension they call “The Upside Down.”

In season 2, episode 7, we meet a girl named Kali who is child 008. She has the ability to project images into people’s minds and make them see whatever she wants them to see

Late in the series, we learn that Henry, child number 001, was the strongest of them all, and he was the villain behind everything that happened in the series. He has evolved into a monster that the children named Vecna after a Dungeons and Dragons character.

There is a scene in which Henry 001 holds his tattooed arm up against Eleven’s arm with 011 tattooed on it, and it becomes more apparent that they are the opposite of one another. That explains to me why they used three-digit numbers.

Initially, the story said these children obtained their supernatural powers because their mothers were given psychedelic drugs. However, in the final season, it is revealed that all the other children were created because their mothers were given blood transfusions from Henry/Vecna/001.

The government kidnapped Kali and was using her blood to infuse pregnant women in an attempt to make more superpowered children El rescued Kali, and together with their friends, they set up a battle against Vecna and other monsters. They will seal off all of the portals to the alternate dimensions.

Kali suggests to El that even if they succeed, the government will continue to try to kidnap them for their blood, create more superpowered children, and reopen portals to the Upside Down dimension, unleashing the monsters yet again. Kali believes that they should stay in this other dimension and be destroyed along with it as a sacrifice to save the earth from future evil.

Long before Kali hatched this plan, I knew that El was not going to survive. My guess was that she would experience some sort of death and then magically be resurrected.

Her name, “Jane,” was one clue. I would’ve preferred her last name to begin with “C,” but the “J” name was good enough. Furthermore, “El” is the Hebrew word for God. For example, El Shaddai means God Almighty. Elohim means God Most High.

She is most definitely a Messiah character who saves the world by destroying evil that springs forth from an underworld.

Although she initially rejected Kali’s plan to sacrifice themselves and eliminate the possibility of creating more superpowered children who could be weaponized by the government, in the end, the portal to the Upside Down closes permanently, and the entire Upside Down dimension is destroyed with Kali and Eleven inside. They sacrificed themselves to save the world.

Or did they?

In an epilogue, we see the kids gathering for another session of Dungeons and Dragons. Mike, as the dungeon Master, spins a tale that Eleven might have survived. He speculates that Kali, who was mortally wounded in the Upside Down, used her psychic abilities to make everyone think that El stayed inside the Upside Down when the portal closed and the dimension was destroyed. He speculates, El survived and went off to live a peaceful life somewhere else in the world. One by one, her friends all declare that they believe this is what happened.

This is the most detailed parallel Christ story I have ever encountered. The early Christians witnessed the death of their Savior. Yet, legends arose that he wasn’t really dead. Eventually, not only did the people who knew him come to believe that he had resurrected, but millions of followers for the next two millennia continue to believe so without any evidence.

If anyone listening can come up with other instances of a Christ figure, please let me know. I’m not just talking about any character that sacrifices their life. I need something more concrete, such as initials JC, Chris, or Christine as a name, but especially a death and resurrection.

My writing mentor, award-winning author David Gerrold, graciously allowed me to take over the class recently and share my thoughts about the role of religion in literature, movies, and TV. Here are some of the points I made in that presentation was also included a briefer version of the above discussion of Christ figures.

So let’s talk religion…

The latest data from the Pew Research Center for 2023 shows that 84.4% of the world’s population has a religious affiliation, leaving only 15.6% without one. Christianity represents 30.7%, Islam 24.9%, Hinduism 15.1%, Buddhism 6.6%, and other religions the remaining 7.1%.

US data from 2020 reports 69.7% Christian (45.6% Protestant and 21.8% Catholic). In that same survey, 23.3% are nonbelievers and 7% are non-Christian (1.4% Jewish, 0.8% Muslim).

The bottom line is, we should not ignore the role of religion in society.

Despite the dominance of religious beliefs, religion is under attack in our society, and rightly so. Throughout history, there have been massive examples of how religion has been used to foster hate and even create wars, from the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition (which no one expected), the Salem witch trials, and white Christian nationalists. Debates over abortion rights are intimately tied to religious beliefs and have resulted in great divisiveness in our society.

In contrast, religion has been a positive force for change. Many denominations promote social justice, equality, care for the poor, the elderly, and the disabled, and opposition to capital punishment.

The amount of hypocrisy expressed by politically active people of faith has inflicted significant damage on the brand of Christianity. Similarly, Islam has suffered from its association with terrorist activities. Other religions have suffered criticism sparked by their more radical members.

I look at it in light of the commandment, “You shall not invoke the name of the Lord in vain.” By claiming to be Christian and living lives contrary to Christian principles, they damage the name of Jesus. People rightly claim, “If that’s what it means to be Christian, count me out.”

I think there is a tendency in science fiction to presume that religion will not be an issue in the future. However, a 2023 study found that about 51% of scientists in the United States reported having religious beliefs, including believing in God or a higher power. While this is significantly lower than the general US population, it’s important to note that 33% of scientists specifically reported believing in God, and 18% believed in a universal spirit or higher power. I find it difficult to believe that a significant number of these scientists of faith are engaged in the pseudoscience of creationism. Science and faith are not as incompatible as they seem.

Let’s look at some examples of faith and religion in science fiction. Because our mentor, David Gerrold, first came to fame by writing for Star Trek, let’s start there.

In some respects, Vulcan philosophy has made a religion out of “logic.” Vulcans spend considerable time meditating to suppress their emotions. Isn’t prayer simply a directed form of meditation? Vulcans are ritualistic people who show great reverence and honor to their ancestors, who are the foundation of their beliefs. Note that there is nothing physiologically tying Vulcans to their lack of emotion. The Vulcans and Romulans come from a common origin, but when the Vulcans adopted logic, they chose a system of belief based on logic and built their culture around it. Meanwhile, Romulans indulged their emotions and became warriors.

Klingon culture reveres its founding ancestors, is a ritualistic society, and most definitely believes in an afterlife. Warriors who die honorably are rewarded in Stovokor, while the dishonored spend an eternity of torment in Gre’thor. This is similar to Norse mythology, which we see represented in the Marvel Universe by Thor and related characters.

Speaking of superheroes, isn’t Superman reminiscent of Hercules? Furthermore, his name is Kal-El, and his father is Jor-El of the house of El. As we explained earlier, “El” is Hebrew for “God.”

Moving along, Star Wars is rife with mythology and religious themes that Lucas tapped into in creating the Star Wars universe. Belief in the Force is often referred to as a religion. Admiral Motti says to Vader, “Your sad devotion to that ancient religion hasn’t helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes.”

While we often think of “A New Hope” as a hero’s journey for Luke, it is also a journey of faith for Han Solo. Early on, he sarcastically says, “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.”

“You don’t believe in the Force, do you?” said Luke.

Solo replies, “Kid, I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s an all-powerful Force controlling everything.

However, by the time the rebels take off to destroy the Death Star, he leaves Luke saying, “Hey, Luke. May the Force be with you.” While that doesn’t necessarily mean he has become a full believer, he’s no longer the skeptic he once was, and he respects what Luke and Obi-Wan can do with the Force. This respect grows throughout the remaining films.

And hold onto your helmets, Star Wars fans, but I’m about to make a case that Darth Vader is a Christ figure. WHAT? Consider this… In Episode I, “The Phantom Menace,” we learned that Anakin Skywalker a.k.a. Darth Vader, was the result of a virgin birth. And even though, unlike Jesus, he turned to the dark side, eventually his death saved his son and ultimately defeated the evil Empire.

‘sWhat about resurrection? Well, at the end of Episode VI ”Return of the Jedi” we see the ghost of Anakin smiling down upon the victory celebration, accompanied by the ghosts of Yoda and Obi-Wan.

One can argue that Star Wars is more fantasy than sci-fi. Introducing religious themes into fantasy and horror is easier because they already deal with supernatural elements. Still, I do not believe religious themes are out of place in hard science fiction. I don’t think religion is going away anytime soon.

In the past few episodes of this podcast, I talked about Old Testament prophets. I think that the role of a prophet provides rich ground for storytelling. I explained to my classmates that prophets I got about predicting the future. Rather, they are about calling people back to their core principles. I gave them a brief overview of some of the material I covered a few episodes ago in this podcast. I talked about Abraham Lincoln, JFK, and MLK as modern-day prophets.

I also discussed the David and Nathan story in which a prophet’s guidance can be personal and one-on-one.

There is a tendency to portray people of faith as being irrational, superstitious, and uneducated people who lack the capacity for critical thinking. While it’s easy to portray religious beliefs in a negative light since there is so much hypocrisy among people of faith, I challenge my colleagues to find ways to respect that some people actually live out the precepts of their religions genuinely.

Most of the people in the class are either atheists or agnostics. So I realized, their challenge is how do you get inside the mind of a religious person? I asked them to consider that a person who is not hypocritical about their religious beliefs might not be so different from you. I explained as follows…

Scripture is primarily mythology. It’s not history. It’s not science. It’s stories that may be factually inaccurate but reveal deeper truths, which are the foundation of a particular religious tradition. Are superhero stories any different? Isn’t sci-fi our modern mythology? YouTuber Damien Walter thinks so. Our mythology contains cautionary tales and morality stories, just like the mythology of religious believers. Do our superheroes always behave completely honorably? Not always. Neither do biblical heroes. Case in point, David.

Let’s look at the concept of Angels and Demons for a moment. Scripture scholars say that angels are a socially created construct because pre-Christian people could not conceive of God speaking directly to people. So they presumed there must be messengers called angels who delivered the Word of God. Demons, of course, are fallen angels.

Further, we understand that angels and demons are metaphors for good and evil. Although the official position of the Catholic church is that angels are real, all three of the priests I worked for, who were pastors of St. Gabriel the Archangel Catholic Parish, taught that belief in angels was not an essential part of Catholic belief and expressed their personal doubts about the existence of angels. They thought of Angels and Demons primarily as metaphors for good and evil.

Let’s try together all of these pieces. If Scripture is useful mythology to teach fundamental values, and angels and demons are metaphors for good and evil, is perhaps God simply an anthropomorphic expression of the ideals of order over chaos, love over hate, and good over evil?

The young people in Stranger Things joined with their supernaturally powered friend to battle evil. That battle cost the life of Eleven, but her spirit lives on within them. They keep her memory alive. Whether she actually resurrected or not is irrelevant. The same can be said for Jesus of Nazareth.

I told my friends in my writing class that although I am no longer able to attend services regularly, given my health and disability, I miss coming together once a week to celebrate shared values with like-minded people.

There is comfort in ritual. In secular society, we celebrate with ritual. We eat certain foods on Thanksgiving. We sing Happy Birthday. We place a wreath on the grave of the unknown soldier on Memorial Day and Veterans Day. We celebrate Independence Day and New Year’s Day with rituals. Even atheists give gifts on Christmas. These are communal expressions of our shared values. It is human nature to do so.

Imagine an organization that met weekly, began with the National Anthem and the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag. Readings from the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, or the Federalist Papers could follow that. It might include speeches from political leaders whose values you share.

Along the way, you encounter another community member and discover they are undergoing medical, emotional, or financial crises, and you wish them well. Is that different from “I will pray for you”? Perhaps during the service, you celebrate your shared values in meaningful rituals. If such an organization existed, would you attend? If so, are you that different from people of faith who gather to worship?

Where do we go from here? How can we incorporate religion into our writing in a credible, positive, and meaningful manner?

You don’t have to directly retell the Christ story to illustrate the power of sacrifice, redemption, or even resurrection.

Resurrection?

Yes, every time we undergo some sort of personal transformation or growth, we die to our old selves and become someone new and better.

Telling stories of love and friendship wherein one person plays the role of a prophet who helps another character become their better selves is fertile ground for storytelling.

I told my colleagues that my hope for and challenge to all of them is that they consider the role of faith and religion in thier stories. I challenged them to try to portray people of faith in a positive light. Don’t presume that the vocal hypocrisy of many people of faith represents all of us.

Please do call out the hypocrisy and hatred expressed by those who abuse religion.

Perhaps, create characters who try to reform their community. Tell the story of a prophet who speaks up for what is right and tries to reform their religious communities, which are not practicing the kind of love, respect, and forgiveness that is the core of our major religious traditions.

If you’re going to portray characters from real religious traditions, not ones you made up on your own, please do your research. Reach out to someone who is knowledgeable about that faith and ask for feedback from a beta reader. Try to find empathy for those who have been misled by religious leaders who preach hate or divisiveness. They are the product of their upbringing.

In my writing seminar, each week we gather with people who believe in the things I believe in. We believe in the power of the written word to educate, entertain, enlighten, and possibly inspire. We discuss our shared values and experiences. An educated and experienced leader guides us on our journey.

There is a ritual to our gathering. We are greeted by our leader individually by name. One guy is teased for not showing up on time. Another guy always asks about homework. I described other things that go on in the class that serve as comforting rituals for our gathering. Each week, David signs off with words that could be described as a closing prayer or blessing. He says, “Stay safe. Stay sane. And have bail money.”

I then asked the group, “Are we not a community of faith?”

So, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You will get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. Although I have some financial struggles, I’m not really in this for money. Still, every little bit helps.

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters. Your support means more to me than words can express.

Even if you cannot provide financial support, please, please, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. I just want more people to be able to hear my stories.

All of my back episodes are available, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re new to this podcast. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast.

I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.

Contemplating Life – Episode 106 – “Lost in Translation”

In my last episode, I confessed that I had misidentified which translation of the Bible I was using. In this episode, I take a deep dive into various translations to figure out how I got confused about which version I was using.

Links of Interest for this episode

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube version

Shooting script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 106 of Contemplating Life.<\p>

In my last episode, I confessed that I had misidentified which translation of the Bible I was using. So I thought I would take a deep dive into various translations to figure out how I got confused about which version I was using.<\p>

The Bible is a collection of works written over the course of centuries by various authors and compiled by various editors. Scholars believe that the earliest pieces of the Hebrew Scriptures, known to Christians as the Old Testament, were written between the tenth and eighth centuries BCE. The newest book of the Hebrew Scriptures is probably 2 Maccabees, written around 150-100 BCE. It is among the deuterocanonical or Apocrypha books that many Protestant Bibles don’t recognise. The book of Malachi is probably the newest book of the Old Testament recognised by Protestants. It was written around 300 BCE.<\p>

Some of Paul’s epistles, most notably 1 Thessalonians, date to around 52 CE. Mark was written around 60-70 CE. Matthew and Luke were written around 80-90 CE. John’s Gospel, as well as Revelation, were written around 90-100 CE.<\p>

The Bible was originally written in Hebrew, Greek, and portions of Daniel and Ezra were written in Aramaic. The earliest manuscripts we have are fragments from John, dated around 100-150 CE. The earliest Old Testament manuscripts are from the Dead Sea Scrolls, dated from the third century BCE to the first century CE. Therefore, there is a gap of perhaps hundreds of years between when the books were actually written and our earliest available manuscripts.<\p>

According to tradition, Ptolemy II Philadelphus (the Greek Pharaoh of Egypt) sent 72 Hebrew translators—6 from each of the Twelve Tribes of Israel—from Jerusalem to Alexandria to translate the Hebrew Scriptures from Biblical Hebrew into Koine Greek for inclusion in his library.<\p>

This came to be known as the Greek Septuagint, which means the version of the 72. It is often designated by the Roman numeral LXX, which equals 70 rather than 72. Don’t ask me why. The New Testament was written in Greek, and references to the Hebrew Scriptures found in the New Testament in all likelihood referred to the Septuagint.<\p>

In 382 CE, Saint Jerome was commissioned by Pope Damascus I to translate the Gospels into Latin for the Catholic Church. On his own initiative, Jerome further translated much of the rest of the Bible. This version came to be known as the Latin Vulgate. The word “vulgate” means common or ordinary language. The word “vulgar” comes from the same root. Vulgar language is the language of the common people, not the language of the aristocracy. Because Latin was the common language of the Roman Empire, this Latin version was, in some respects, “vulgar” without the negative connotation of the word. Jerome used the Septuagint as well as some available Hebrew and Aramaic sources. It was considered the official version of the Western Church until the Council of Trent in the mid-1500s.<\p>

For centuries, most other translations were re-translated from the Latin Vulgate.<\p>

Martin Luther translated the Bible into German in the mid-1500s. It was based on a variety of sources, including the Septuagint and the Vulgate.<\p>

Another notable Medieval version is the famous King James Version (KJV) commissioned by King James of England in the early 1600s. While it was reasonably good for its time, translators were often more interested in producing beautifully flowing English rather than accurately translating the material. There was also a bias to whitewash anything that sounded critical of royalty.<\p>

Now let’s look at some modern translations.<\p>

Today, the Catholic Church in the United States uses a version called the New American Bible (NAB). It traces its origins to 1936, when Archbishop Edwin V. O’Hara, Chairman of the Episcopal Committee of the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, invited Catholic scripture scholars to begin work on a new English translation based on the Vulgate. This led to the formation of the Catholic Bible Association, which was created to work on this translation.<\p>

In 1943, Pope Pius XII issued an encyclical, Divino Afflante Spiritu, which means, “By the divine inspiration of the Spirit.” He encouraged the creation of translations of the Bible into the vernacular, that is, whatever your native language might be. Furthermore, he said that it should be based upon the earliest available Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic manuscripts rather than a retranslation of the Latin Vulgate.<\p>

The Catholic Bible Association abandoned its previous efforts to translate from Latin and took up the challenge of creating a version based on the earliest Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic manuscripts as ordered by the Pope. Their work was released in four volumes from 1952 to 1969. This version of the Old Testament became known as the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine (CCD) Bible. <\p>

However, when it was eventually combined with a new translation of the New Testament, it became known as the New American Bible, published in 1970. It was mostly the work of Catholic scholars, but other non-Catholic scholars were included in the process. The hope was that calling it the New American Bible rather than CCD might encourage its use outside the Catholic Church.<\p>

The NAB Psalms were updated in 1981, and the New Testament was updated in 1986. Some sources have referred to this as the Revised New American Bible (RNAB), although I don’t think that was ever an official name for it.<\p>

The NAB is a translation used in the Roman Catholic Lectionary. The Lectionary is a book of Scripture readings and prayers that are used in the celebration of the Catholic Mass and other liturgies. As best I can determine, the 1986 update is currently used in the Lectionary.<\p>

The situation gets a little bit muddy along the way. The most recent version of the NAB is the New American Bible Revised Edition (NABRE). It was published in 2011. The website of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) features an online Bible, the NABRE. However, it is approved only for private use and study, even though it is the official Catholic version in the US. The lectionary is still using the 1986 NAB. I found multiple websites that incorrectly state that the lectionary is based on the NABRE.<\p>

I have linked the preface to the NABRB from the Bishops’ website, which explains some of this history and parts of the philosophy behind this newest revision. I’ve also linked a Wikipedia article about the NABRE, which gives specific examples of the differences between it and the older NAB.<\p>

When I began to return to the church in the early 1980s, I asked for a Bible for my birthday. My mom bought me a really nice New American Bible with a fancy leather cover. I purchased a set of tabs for each book of the Bible that you could stick on the first page, so you can quickly get to whatever book you want. Then I also got a big leather cover that went over all of that.<\p>

In the RCIA program I attended as a returning Catholic, and later taught for 30 years, we would give everyone in the class a paperback version of the NAB called the St. Joseph Edition of the New American Bible. Don’t ask me what St. Joseph had to do with it. I think it was just branding. One of the things I really liked about it was that at the beginning, it included a document from Vatican II titled “The Dogmatic Constitution on Divine Revelation,” which explains how Catholics rely not only upon sacred Scripture but also sacred tradition. I covered that document in Episode 94; you can find the link in the description.<\p>

When my mother attended RCIA with me, she would sit next to me and turn to the appropriate page in my Bible. My handout included specific page numbers from the St. Joseph Edition of the New American Bible for the verses I intended to read. So she and the class participants could quickly find those passages. If it didn’t have a page number, it was just a verse I was providing as reference material, not one I intended to read.<\p>

My Mom developed lung cancer and passed away in February 2009. I don’t know when she stopped attending RCIA with me, but I’m guessing it was two years earlier.<\p>

When I wrote Episode 104 of this podcast about the prophets of the Old Testament, I used an old Microsoft Word file I found on my computer that was my notes from that lesson, named “oldtestament notes 09.” That is, the version of my notes from 2009. There was a later document from 2014 that I did not use because that year, I organised things a little bit differently than usual, and I wanted to use the version I had normally taught from.<\p>

Because I didn’t have Mom to help me, my notes included all of the Scripture quotes I intended to read. I would prop up the pages on an easel, and I could knock the pages off one by one as the lesson progressed. That way, I was able to teach without physical assistance. <\p>

Looking at the document, it is obvious that these quotes were cut and pasted from some other source. If I had been retyping Scripture quotes or dictating them using my dictation software, I would not have included the verse numbers.<\p>

There are two possible sources from which I could have cut and pasted. One is a website called The Bible Gateway. It offers translations of the Bible in many languages, including multiple English versions. The more likely source was the Vatican website.<\p>

As these websites exist today, the Bible Gateway does not include the NAB. It does include the current NABRE. It also includes the New American Standard Bible (NASB). Therein lies the problem. Somehow, somewhere along the way, when I saw the NASB on the Bible Gateway, I thought it was the version I had been using for decades. I began calling the official Catholic version used at Mass the NASB. I called it that in blog posts over the years, occasionally linking to the Bible Gateway, and I called it that in every episode of this podcast up through Episode 104.<\p>

When I wrote the script for Episode 104, I used the quotes from that old Microsoft Word file “oldtestament 09.” After I recorded the episode, I prepared the links to the Scripture quotes I included in the description. I got those links from the US Bishops’ website and labelled them (NASB) because I thought that was the right version.<\p>

After recording the episode and doing basic edits, I went back to add the text pages to the video with the Scripture readings. That’s when I discovered that the Bishops’ version didn’t match my 2009 notes.<\p>

If you had asked me prior to January 19, 2026, what version of the Bible I used, I would have sworn on a stack of them that it was the NASB. I don’t know how or why I confused the NAB with the NASB. It had to come from using the Bible Gateway. Once that bit of erroneous error manifested itself in my brain, it’s stuck with me for years.<\p>

After several Wikipedia searches and after reading the introductory material on the Bishops’ website, I discovered that the Bishops’ version was the NABRE. When I did this research, I was already in bed. I became panicked. I was so certain I had been using the NASB that I began to wonder if our RCIA team had been purchasing the wrong Bible for the entire 30 years that I taught.<\p>

I did a Google search for the St. Joseph Edition of the New American Bible and found images of a salmon-colored cover identical to the ones we distributed in RCIA. When I got up the next day, I found an old RCIA Bible as well as that fancy leather-bound Bible I had received for my birthday decades ago. Much to my relief, they both were New American Bible versions.<\p>

So, the next mystery was, “What version had I cut-and-pasted it into those 2009 notes?” The bishops no longer had a NAB. Neither does Bible Gateway. But God bless the slow-moving Vatican. Their website has a New American Bible dated 2011. This would be after the 1981 Psalm revision and the 1986 New Testament revisions. Note that the NABRE was released around 2011-2012. I tried looking up some of the passengers from my 2009 notes, and they matched the Vatican NAB and did not match the NABRE.<\p>

I rerecorded some of the Scripture quotes for episode 104 to use the NABRE. Originally, Episode 104 was over an hour long, so I split it in half and planned to use the second half as Episode 105. But there were so many Scripture quotes I wanted to revise, so I scrapped the original recording and rerecorded 105 from scratch using the NABRE.<\p>

I still don’t know how I misidentified “my version” as the NASB.<\p>

I did some research about the differences between it and the NABRE. According to Wikipedia, “The NASB relies on recently published critical editions of the original Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek texts. It is known for preferring a literal translation style that generally preserves the structure of the original language when possible (formal equivalence), rather than an idiomatic style that attempts to match natural English usage.”<\p>

This leads to some awkward sentence structure. Direct translation of idioms does not translate well from one language to another. Editors of that version claim it is the most accurate and correct translation, but this formal equivalence approach is problematic.<\p>

The NABRE and the NRSVue use dynamic equivalence, also called functional equivalence. Wikipedia explains the difference as follows: “The ‘formal-equivalence’ approach emphasises fidelity to the lexical details and grammatical structure of the source language, whereas ‘dynamic equivalence’ tends to provide a rendering that is more natural to the target language.<\p>

“According to Eugene Nida, dynamic equivalence, the term he originally coined, is the quality of a translation in which the message of the original text has been so transported into the receptor language that the response of the receptor is essentially like that of a receptor of the original text. The aim is that a reader of both languages will understand the meaning of the text similarly.” I have linked the Wikipedia article on dynamic equivalence and functional equivalence in the description.<\p>

Recently, I began attending weekly Zoom meetings with Jeremy Steele a.k.a. the Skeptic Pastor. In one of those sessions, he compared scripture verses across different English translations. The scholarly consensus is that the best English translation is the New Revised Standard Version – Updated Edition (NRSVue). This is the latest version of the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV).<\p>

Pastor Jeremy compared the NRSVue, which he prefers, to the New International Version (NIV) and the English Standard Version (ESV). He illustrated how those two versions suffered from evangelical biases. I chimed in on the discussion, quoting from the Catholic version from the Bishops’ website. Unfortunately, I mistakenly identified it as the NASB instead of the NABRE. I corrected my mistake in the following week’s Zoom gathering.<\p>

By the way, Pastor Jeremy interviewed me for his January 11 podcast. I’ve provided a link. I had a blast appearing on his show. Also, he is coming to Indianapolis for a meet-up. If the weather isn’t too nasty, I plan to attend.<\p>

The NRSV has a Catholic edition called the NRSV-CE. It is simply the NRSV, including the Apocrypha books that are normally omitted from Protestant versions. It has received an imprimatur from the Catholic Church, approving its use by Catholics for private reflection and study.<\p>

Scripture translations need to be constantly updated. New manuscripts are discovered. Scholarly consensus evolves. The English language evolves. Words don’t mean the same thing they meant just a few decades ago.<\p>

The Catholic Bible Association is working on yet another revision, scheduled for release on Ash Wednesday in February 2027. It will be approved for use in the Lectionary at Mass as well as for private reflection and study. It will be called the Catholic American Bible (CAB). I guess they gave up on the idea that this Bible had a market beyond the Catholic Church.<\p>

So, anyway, I screwed up. I didn’t know what Bible I was reading from, but I think we’ve straightened it out now and take an interesting deep dive into various versions.<\p>

So, as always… if you find this podcast educational, entertaining, enlightening, or even inspiring, consider sponsoring me on Patreon for just $5 per month. You will get early access to the podcast and other exclusive content. Although I have some financial struggles, I’m not really in this for money. Still, every little bit helps. <\p>

As always, my deepest thanks to my financial supporters. Your support means more to me than words can express.<\p>

Even if you cannot provide financial support, please, please, please post the links and share this podcast on social media so that I can grow my audience. I just want more people to be able to hear my stories.<\p>

All of my back episodes are available, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re new to this podcast. If you have any comments, questions, or other feedback, please feel free to comment on any of the platforms where you found this podcast. <\p>

I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.

Contemplating Life – Episode 105 – “The Costs of Being A Prophet”

This is the fourth and final part of my very brief overview of the Old Testament. We continue with our look at Old Testament prophets and how to connect their stories to our present-day experiences.

Links of Interest for this episode

General reference links for this series.

Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/contemplatinglife
Where to listen to this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/contemplatinglife
YouTube playlist of this and all other episodes: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFFRYfZfNjHL8bFCmGDOBvEiRbzUiiHpq

YouTube Version

Shooting Script

Hello, this is Chris Young. Welcome to Episode 105 of Contemplating Life.

In this episode, I continue a multi-part series based on my 30 years of teaching the Catholic faith in my local parish’s inquiry program.

As always, whenever I talk about religion, I’m not out to convert anyone. I’m just telling my stories.

Note: Handout materials for this lesson are available as PDFs linked in the episode description.

This is the fourth and final part of my very brief overview of the Old Testament. Actually, I was going to wrap things up last time, but the episode was too long, so this is really sort of Episode 104 – Part 2. In this final segment, we will discuss the pros and cons of being a prophet and the dangers of false prophecy.

Before we get started, I have a retraction to make about previous episodes. I’ve been misidentifying the particular translation of Scripture that I’ve been using. The English language translation use that Mass in the United States is called the “New American Bible.” It is abbreviated NAB.

I’ve been calling it the NASB, which stands for New American Standard Bible. The links I have been providing in the descriptions of these podcasts come from the website of the US Conference of Catholic Bishops, or USCCB. Those are an updated version of the NAB, called the New American Bible Revised Edition (NABRE). I’ve been misidentifying them as NASB throughout this podcast. I’m going to produce a mini episode explaining all of this in more detail. So, check that out. It should be available any day.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled podcast.

 

What’s it like to be a prophet? For one, prophets have power. One of my favorite Old Testament stories is about the prophet Elijah. It runs from 1 Kings 16:29 through 1 Kings 18:26.

This guy named Ahab became the king of Israel and ruled for 22 years. It says he “did what was evil in the Lord’s sight more than any of his predecessors.” Not only did he marry a woman named Jezebel (perhaps that’s where the word gets its negative connotation), but he went over to the veneration and worship of Jezebel’s God, Baal. He even erected a temple to this false God. It says, “You did more to anger the Lord, the God of Israel, than any of the kings before him.” [1 Kings 18:32-33]

It reminds me of the old song by comedian Allan Sherman about King Louis of France, who was the worst of all of the French kings.

Louis the Sixteenth was the King of France in 1789

He was worse than Louis the Fifteenth

He was worse than Louis the Fourteenth

He was worse than Louis the Thirteenth

He was the worst since Louis the First

[end]

The prophet Elijah delivers a message to Ahab. “As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, during these years there shall be no dew or rain except at my word.” [1 Kings 17:1]

Then the Lord tells Elijah to leave and to hide out in the land east of the Jordan. He tells him don’t worry, you can drink from the stream, and I will command ravens to feed you there. And it happened. Eventually, the stream ran dry, and God sent him elsewhere, where he met a widow and her son.

He asked the widow to prepare some food for him. She explains that they have only a small amount of flour and oil for one meal for her and her son. After that, they will starve after death. After this bit of melodrama, he convinces her to make him something first. When she does, the flour and oil magically replenish, and they all three ate well for a year and a half.

Sometime later, the widow’s son fell ill. Elijah was able to miraculously revive him using what sounds like an early version of CPR.

I encourage you to read these accounts of Elijah’s self-imposed exile during the drought. There are some really interesting stories of how powerful Elijah was and how God took care of him.

Finally, after two years, the Lord tells Elijah, it’s time to go back to Ahab, and I will end the drought. He’s been punished enough.

Meanwhile, a guy named Obadiah had been left behind trying to protect believers in the true prophets of the Lord. He helped the prophets hide out, and he brought them food and water. Naturally, there was a lot of animosity towards them for causing the drought. When Elijah returned, Obadiah spotted him coming. I love this scene.

 

As Obadiah was on his way, Elijah met him. Recognizing him, Obadiah fell prostrate and asked, “Is it you, my lord Elijah?”

He said to him, “Yes. Go tell your lord, ‘Elijah is here!’”

But Obadiah said, “What sin has your servant committed, that you are handing me over to Ahab to be killed? As the LORD, your God, lives, there is no nation or kingdom where my lord has not sent in search of you. When they replied, ‘He is not here,’ he made each kingdom and nation swear they could not find you. And now you say, ‘Go tell your lord: Elijah is here! ’After I leave you, the spirit of the LORD will carry you to some place I do not know, and when I go to inform Ahab, and he does not find you, he will kill me—though your servant has revered the LORD from his youth! [1 Kings 18:7-12]

 

I love Obadiah’s attitude. What did I do to you to put me in this god-awful position? As sure as I go tell him you’re back, you will run off again, leaving me like you did the last time!

Obadiah then recounts everything he’s done and how faithful he has been while Elijah was away.

 

Elijah answered, “As the LORD of hosts lives, whom I serve, I will present myself to him today.” So Obadiah went to meet Ahab and informed him, and Ahab came to meet Elijah.

When Ahab saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is it you, you disturber of Israel?”

He answered, “It is not I who disturbs Israel, but you and your father’s house, by forsaking the commands of the LORD and you by following the Baals. Now summon all Israel to me on Mount Carmel, as well as the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah who eat at Jezebel’s table.” [1 Kings 18:15-19]

 

So, they all gathered on the mountain, and Elijah prepared a demonstration. He told the people to pick a side. Sort of like the way Joshua gave a choice to the people in the example I gave last episode. Follow the false prophets of Baal or follow the true God. They prepared 2 sacrifices. One for the false prophets and one for Elijah. They didn’t like the fire. Whichever God could ignite the sacrifice was the true God. Everyone agreed. It says…

 

Taking the young bull that was turned over to them, they prepared it and called upon Baal from morning to noon, saying, “Baal, answer us!” But there was no sound, and no one answering. And they hopped around the altar they had prepared.

When it was noon, Elijah taunted them: “Call louder, for he is a god; he may be busy doing his business, or may be on a journey. Perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.”

[1 Kings 18:26-27]

 

Elijah sure knew how to talk trash. Can’t you just picture these guys dancing around their altar, trying to get their god to ignite the sacrifice?

 

They called out louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears according to their ritual until blood gushed over them. Noon passed, and they remained in a prophetic state until the time for offering sacrifice. But there was no sound, no one answering, no one listening.

Then Elijah said to all the people, “Come here to me.” When they drew near to him, he repaired the altar of the LORD, which had been destroyed. He took twelve stones, for the number of tribes of the sons of Jacob, to whom the LORD had said: Israel shall be your name. He built the stones into an altar to the name of the LORD, and made a trench around the altar large enough for two measures of grain. When he had arranged the wood, he cut up the young bull and laid it on the wood.

He said, “Fill four jars with water and pour it over the burnt offering and over the wood.” “Do it again,” he said, and they did it again. “Do it a third time,” he said, and they did it a third time. The water flowed around the altar; even the trench was filled with the water.

At the time for offering sacrifice, Elijah the prophet came forward and said, “LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, LORD! Answer me, that this people may know that you, LORD, are God and that you have turned their hearts back to you.”

The LORD’s fire came down and devoured the burnt offering, wood, stones, and dust, and lapped up the water in the trench.

[By the way, I wonder if this is where they got the idea of Jewish space lasers. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Anyway…]

Seeing this, all the people fell prostrate and said, “The LORD is God! The LORD is God!”

Then Elijah said to them, “Seize the prophets of Baal. Let none of them escape!” They seized them, and Elijah brought them down to the Wadi Kishon, and there he slaughtered them.

[1 Kings 18: 28-40]

 

Wow. He certainly showed them up.

However, I told you that story so I can tell you this one. There is a cost to being a prophet. Elijah had to go into hiding after telling Ahab there would be a drought. When he returned, Obadiah felt the cost of doing the right thing. He feared for the consequences of being faithful. Elijah knew he was doing what the Lord wanted. He was going to purge all of these false prophets and set things right. He became somewhat zealous about it. He may have gone too far. And he was going to suffer the consequences.

When Ahab told Jezebel about what had happened, she wanted Elijah killed. Keep in mind, Jezebel was the whole reason that Ahab converted to worship Baal in the first place. You can just imagine that difficult conversation. “You let that guy show you up and kill all the prophets to my God? Get off your ass and do something about it.”

Elijah had to escape into the desert. He became severely depressed. He did the right thing. Perhaps overboard. And now he was being hunted. It says in 1 Kings 19:4-18

 

He prayed for death: “Enough, LORD! Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.” He lay down and fell asleep under the solitary broom tree, but suddenly a messenger touched him and said, “Get up and eat!”

He looked, and there at his head was a hearth cake and a jug of water. After he ate and drank, he lay down again, but the angel of the LORD came back a second time, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat or the journey will be too much for you!”

He got up, ate, and drank; then strengthened by that food, he walked forty days and forty nights to the mountain of God, Horeb. There he came to a cave, where he took shelter. But the word of the LORD came to him: Why are you here, Elijah?

He answered: “I have been most zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts, but the Israelites have forsaken your covenant. They have destroyed your altars and murdered your prophets by the sword. I alone remain, and they seek to take my life.”

Then the LORD said: Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will pass by. There was a strong and violent wind rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD—but the LORD was not in the wind; after the wind, an earthquake—but the LORD was not in the earthquake; after the earthquake, fire—but the LORD was not in the fire; after the fire, a light, silent sound.

When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. A voice said to him, Why are you here, Elijah?

He replied, “I have been most zealous for the LORD, the God of hosts, but the Israelites have forsaken your covenant. They have destroyed your altars and murdered your prophets by the sword. I alone remain, and they seek to take my life.” [1 Kings 19:4-18]

 

Can’t you just imagine Elijah sitting there in the cave, repeatedly asking himself, “How did I get here? What did I do? Did I do the right thing? Why am I so scared? What am I going to do next?” But, in that tiny, soft, whispering voice, he heard God telling him what to do.

 

The LORD said to him: Go back! Take the desert road to Damascus. When you arrive, you shall anoint Hazael as king of Aram. You shall also anoint Jehu, son of Nimshi, as king of Israel, and Elisha, son of Shaphat of Abel-meholah, as prophet to succeed you.

Anyone who escapes the sword of Hazael, Jehu will kill. Anyone who escapes the sword of Jehu, Elisha will kill. But I will spare seven thousand in Israel—every knee that has not bent to Baal, every mouth that has not kissed him. [1 Kings 19: 4-18]

 

This story speaks to me on so many levels. You may recall from Episode 40 that I told the stories of my ministry on the finance committee at Saint Gabriel. We were in financial trouble. The so-called experts of fundraising say that you should keep hitting up your big money donors. The smaller donors are fine, but they are giving all they can. Even if those $5 donors gave $6 each, it still wouldn’t help. You can only make up a shortfall by going after the wealthy. In traditional charitable giving, that’s a good strategy.

The problem was that we were not doing traditional fundraising. We were promoting tithing. The philosophy was, don’t give because we need money. Saying that we need money is nearly heresy. It’s saying that God didn’t give us what we need. We said, give 10% because it’s the right thing to do. Now, if we come along and say we need more, it looks greedy. It says that the scripturally based idea of tithing didn’t work.

I tried to warn them it would backfire. I tried to be a prophet. Although they didn’t come after me with swords, it hurt to be ignored. See, I didn’t want to be right. I didn’t want to get in my “I told you so.” It hurt me to say that the parish I loved was going in the wrong direction. I had been zealous for the Lord, and I was paying a price for it. Like Elijah, I wanted to crawl into a cave and hide.

In some ways, I did. I withdrew emotionally. I tried to hear God. All I heard was storms, earthquakes, and noises. I had to find that quiet place in the cave where I could hear God whispering that it would be okay.

Unfortunately, my prophecy was right. There was backlash. Some of our wealthy donors were upset, and hitting them up for more money alienated some of them, and in the end, it didn’t help our financial problems. We had to try other strategies that were consistent with our principles. I was unable to call us back to those principles. The parish had to find its way back on its own.

In the New Testament, even Jesus had a rough time when he went home to Galilee. In Luke 4:24, he says, “Amen, I say to you, no prophet is accepted in his own native place.” Said things like, “Isn’t that Jesus the carpenter’s son? Why should we listen to him?” The same story is told in Matthew 13:57 and Mark 6:4. But what is really unusual is that it is also told in John 4:44. It’s common for Matthew, Mark, and Luke to agree. They are known as the synoptic Gospels. Synoptic means they see alike. John usually goes off and tells his own stories in his own way. This must’ve been a big deal to the gospel authors if they all four included it.

The bottom line is, it was hard for me to be a prophet in my own parish.

Sometimes I feel burdened by my role as a prophet or any other difficult job in my ministry. I often say, “Who died and left me this crappy job to do? Well… I guess it was Jesus, wasn’t it?”

That brings us to our next point. A prophet is called by God. You don’t just get to do it on your own. In Jeremiah 1:4-10 it says…

 

The word of the LORD came to me: Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you.

“Ah, Lord GOD!” I said, “I do not know how to speak. I am too young!”

But the LORD answered me, Do not say, “I am too young.” To whomever I send you, you shall go; whatever I command you, you shall speak. [Jeremiah 1:4-7]

 

It sort of sounds like God is saying, “Ask not what your God can do for you. Ask what you can do for your God.” Continuing with verse 8…

 

Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you—oracle of the LORD. Then the LORD extended his hand and touched my mouth, saying to me, See, I place my words in your mouth. Today I appoint you over nations and over kingdoms, To uproot and to tear down, to destroy and to demolish, to build and to plant. [Jeremiah 1:8-10]

 

Many of the other prophets felt unworthy. However, God makes them worthy. In Isaiah 6:1-8, Isaiah has a vision in which he is called to be a prophet.

 

In the year King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne, with the train of his garment filling the temple. Seraphim were stationed above; each of them had six wings: with two they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they hovered.

One cried out to the other: “Holy, holy, holy* is the LORD of hosts! All the earth is filled with his glory!”

At the sound of that cry, the frame of the door shook, and the house was filled with smoke. Then I said, “Woe is me, I am doomed!* For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips,d and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, holding an ember which he had taken with tongs from the altar. He touched my mouth with it. “See,” he said, “now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed, your sin purged.”

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” “Here I am,” I said, “send me!” [Isaiah 6:1-6]

 

That particular passage is quite meaningful to me, and to much of Saint Gabriel Parish back when I was active. I’ve spoken before about our parish renewal program called Christ Renews His Parish. A primary goal of that program was to inspire people to become more actively involved in parish activities. We had a theme song for that program, which was titled “Here I Am, Lord.” It was based in part upon that scripture quote. I’ve provided a link to the song on Spotify.

Once you feel a call to some sort of ministry in the church, even if it isn’t as a prophet, that call can become irresistible. One of the prime examples of that irresistible call is the famous myth of Jonah and the great fish (sometimes called a whale) in Jonah 1-3. We always hear about Jonah and the whale, but you rarely hear how he got there in the first place.

Jonah was called to go preach a message of repentance to the people of Nineveh who had gone astray. Jonah didn’t want to go. He didn’t think the people of Nineveh were worth saving. He chartered a passage on a boat headed in the opposite direction from Nineveh. God sent a vicious storm that nearly destroyed the boat. When the sailors discovered it was Jonah’s fault, they threw him overboard, and he was swallowed by a giant fish. Three days later, the fish spits him out onto a beach. Guess where… Nineveh. Jonah preached repentance to them reluctantly. And then was still angry when they actually repented.

Scripture warns that there are many false prophets. In the story we told earlier about Elijah, it says that the false prophets outnumbered the good ones 850 to 1.

Jeremiah says, “A shocking, horrible thing has happened in the land: The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests teach as they wish; Yet my people will have it so; what will you do when the end comes?”

God warns that false prophets tell the people what they want to hear and do not speak for God. You can see examples of this in Jeremiah 14:11-60 and 23:9-25.

In Deuteronomy 18:20, God orders that false prophets be put to death. Anytime you lie, it’s a sin. But it’s particularly bad when you claim to be speaking for God, and you aren’t. We see too much of that today.

How do you know if a prophet is true or false? Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes you have to wait to see if the prophecy comes true. Again, we are not focusing too much on the predictive abilities of prophets. But if the prophecy leads you further astray, in the end, you will suffer for it and realize that the person was a false prophet.

Currently, many people are realizing that they may have been following a false prophet in the form of Donald Trump. They thought he was speaking for God, but gradually, too late, they are discovering their mistake and facing buyer’s remorse. It’s easy to be seduced by a false prophet. Sometimes it just takes time for things to play out, and you realize your mistake.

Even Moses, who spoke directly with God, had his doubts. He wasn’t sure he was really being called by God. It was only years later, in retrospect, that he could be certain he had done the right thing.

In Exodus 3, when Moses was first called to lead the people, God spoke to him through a burning bush. Moses was initially a bit skeptical. He wanted to know who he was talking to. God said he was the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God had seen the suffering of his people in Egypt and was sending Moses to rescue them and lead them to the promised land.

 

But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

God answered: I will be with you; and this will be your sign that I have sent you. When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will serve God at this mountain. [Exodus 3:11-12]

 

So, Moses would have to wait to see if he ended up back here successfully, then he would know he did the right thing.

Anyway, in Exodus 18, Moses realizes the prophecy was true; he ends up back in the land with his father-in-law Jethro, offering sacrifice to the LORD on that same mountain where he received his initial call. Only in retrospect is he certain that he really was doing God’s work. Sometimes, we think we are doing God’s work but we can’t really be sure until we see how things turn out.

That’s going to wrap things up for our brief look at the Old Testament. I hope you have come to appreciate why many things in the Old Testament seem so different from the New Testament. It isn’t because God is different. It’s because we are different.

If we go back to what we said about the Ascending View of Scripture, we understand that Scripture was not handed down by Divine Dictation. Rather, people of faith recorded their experiences of God to be handed down across generations. We have to understand Scripture in this context. In the Old Testament, humanity is like a rebellious child who must occasionally be disciplined. We need laws to keep us on the right path. Sometimes we have to be punished to get our attention. We have to be taught that there are consequences to our actions.

On the other hand, we were sent prophets whose job it was to call us back when we went astray. If we heed these prophets and their warnings, we will reap the benefits.

Sometimes, we have to listen to personal prophets. Our friends and family occasionally have to call us back to the right path. And sometimes, we are called to be prophets as well. Not to sit in judgment of others, but to lovingly remind people how to be the best versions of themselves.

When I taught these lessons, I would speak for about 90 minutes, and the remainder of the session was devoted to a discussion period. Here are the discussion questions I offered for our group sharing after this lesson. You can also find these questions in the PDF handout materials.

  1. Is your image of God that of a harsh judge waiting to find fault with you, or is He a loving parent who protects you
  2. Has your image of God changed over your life in regards to topic #1?
  3. How do you feel about giving
  4. Does god still speak to us through others? Who are our modern-day prophets? Who are false prophets?
  5. Have you ever been a prophet to a friend/relative like David & Nathan? Or have they been one to you?
  6. Can you give an incident in your life when god truly spoke to you, even if it was ever so softly?
  7. How do you feel about this statement: The First Amendment to the Constitution which codifies the separation Church and State, which protects us from violating the First Commandment against worshipping false gods

In future episodes, we will wrap up this series of RCIA lessons with our brief look at the New Testament which will also be a failure because I had to teach the entire New Testament in one evening.

I will probably take a break from this series before that.

In our next episode, I will have a reflection about religious symbolism in literature, movies, and TV. This will include a look at the Netflix series “Stranger Things”.

By then, it will be time for the Academy Awards. I will again attempt to review all 10 movies nominated for Best Picture and perhaps some of the other major acting awards. But we will get back to the New Testament eventually.

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I will see you next time as we continue contemplating life. Until then, fly safe.